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TranscriptEdit

Scene 1: Jon's bedroomEdit

Viewer discretion warning is shown. Opening credits roll.

Arbiter is seen on Jon's bed drawing a guy on a note pad. His hand slips and causes a scribble.

  • Arbiter: "Fuck! Why? Why give me intelligence and a ridiculous body?"

Chief climbs onto the bed and heads towards Arbiter.

  • Chief: "ARBITUR WAT R U WRITING"
  • Arbiter: "Nothing"
  • Chief: "R U DRAWING? I must see wat it is that ur drawing / let me see this"

Chief snatches the note pad from Arbiter.

  • Arbiter: "Hey! I haven't finished."

​Chief looks at the drawing.

  • Chief: "wut the hell is this?"
  • 'Arbiter:' "...It's a guy."

Chief sees the scribble.

  • Chief: "W00PSIE / theres sumthing wrong with it / don't worry"/I will fix

Chief takes the pen and starts drawing. He gives the pad back to Arbiter, he has finished the drawing with the addition of a penis shoved into the guy's mouth.

  • Chief: "now ur drawing officially sucks dick / LOL"
  • Arbiter: "You're an ass!"

Chief starts bouncing on the bed.

  • Chief: "LOL / I am going to jump on the bed, you are permitted to join
  • Arbiter: "[beat] Yeah. It sucks. But I enjoy drawing, I wanna get better at it. I wanna be really good at SOMEthing,ANYthing.I want an ace up my sleeve."
  • Chief: "how cum u dont has any space up ur sleeves? :("
  • Arbiter: "'ACE' up my sleeve. Never mind."
  • Chief: "BUT WHY BOTHER IF U SUCK? if u stopped sucking then maybe / BUT U HAVENT LOL"
  • Arbiter: "You have to do a lot of sucking if you want to be any good at anything. Look at Jon."
  • Chief: "I have not seen any significant improvement in your drawing in approximately 3 years "
  • Arbiter: "[beat] You can be a real asshole sometimes. [beat] But it doesn't matter because I know I can at least draw better than you can."

Chief stops jumping, approaches Arbiter and stares him in the face.

  • Chief: "U / ME / DICK DRAWING CONTEST"
  • Arbiter: "Dick drawing contest. Sigh. Really?"
  • Chief: "RITE HERE / RITE NA0"

Scene 2: The drawing boardsEdit

Arbiter and Chief approach Jon's dry-erase boards.

  • Arbiter: "Let's share this one. That other one has important-"
  • Chief: "WHAT?"

Chief is seen erasing Jon's production notes on the other board.

  • Arbiter: "Dude,Jon's gonna be mad."
  • Chief: "I DONT CARE / HE'LL THINK IT WAS GHOSTS/U READY?"
  • Arbiter: "Yeah, I guess."

A montage of them drawing is seen.

  • Arbiter: "Where is it?"
  • Chief: "THERE"

Chiefs drawing is shown.A crude,simple drawing of a penis with a smiley face.

  • Arbiter: "That sucks."
  • Chief: "fuck you / lets see urs picasso"

Arbiter's drawing is shown. A better but somewhat weird drawing of an ejaculating penis with a pair of lips.

  • Chief: "[beat] that is so gay / ur probably actually gay"
  • Arbiter: "Hey! I was merely operating within the parameters of the competition. And so much for that, I was expecting a challenge."
  • Chief: "i guess ur right / i suck"

Chief walks away.

  • Arbiter: "Let that be a lesson to you-"
  • Chief: "thats how i would have responded had this been my REAL DRAWING"

Chief is seen on the couch with another dry-erase board covered by a blanket. Chief removes the blanket.

  • Arbiter: "Oh my god!"

Chiefs drawing is shown to be a well detailed cartoon penis wearing a shirt that says "Once you get to me I'm a real dick".

  • Chief: "wat can i say? i have a little space up my sleeves"
  • Arbiter: "YOU'RE NOT EVEN SAYING IT RIGHT!"

Credits roll. The end.

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