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Scene 1: Kitchen Edit

[Arbiter is seen about to pour himself a bowl of cereal, Chief climbs up onto the counter and approaches him]

CHIEF: hay.

[Arbiter drops the bag of cereal]

ARBITER: What's the matter?

CHIEF: wtf r u talking about / NOTHING IS MATTER / pass me thoese cereals when ur done w/ it [grabbing a bowl]

ARBITER: You greet me in a perfectly acceptable manner and you're seriously telling me that there's nothing wrong with you?

CHIEF: K FIEN go suck and fuck a truck of ducks then / r u :D { happy face } nao? /

ARBITER: And you told me you'd rather eat out the ass cracks of every PAX attendee at the end of its second day than go anywhere near the plain cereal. The rainbow chocolate chip Pop Tarts are in the cupboard above the microwave. However, it crushes me to tell you that the five remaining packets will have to suffice this morning -- as opposed to your typical eight or nine.

CHIEF: i dusnt wanted n e god dam pop tarts, pop tarts suck cocks

ARBITER: Do they really? Fascinating, I had no idea. I'd love to see some pictures, if you've taken any. How much longer do you plan on wearing this ridiculous outfit for? Pee Wee Herman over here.

CHIEF: holy fucking shit get off of my ass w00d u plex?

ARBITER: You look like a quiz show host.

CHIEF: WELCUM EVRYBODY 2 WHO WANTS 2 B A PARAPLEJIC / will our eager contestint k33p pissing me off and claiemed teh grand prizes / STAY TUNED

ARBITER: Seriously, why are you acting so weird? Just spit it out, come on. What the hell's the matter?

CHIEF: i f33l fat, ok? / :( { sad face }

ARBITER: What? You feel fat? That's ridiculous, why on earth would you feel that way?

CHIEF: y else w00dnt i has all the bitches bai nao, arbitur?

ARBITER: Boy, Chief -- you've really stumped me there.

CHIEF: remembir a long long tiems ago u told me that i w00d gots all the bitches? / well where r they arbitur? / WHERE IS THE BITCHES / it doesnt maed 1 singel senses.

ARBITER: A world where you are without all the bitches would surely be one gone topsy-turvy.

CHIEF: and wen i traied 2 climbed up onto the computirs desk i acksidentally broked 1 of the handels on the drawers

ARBITER: Those drawers are shit. You could talk them into breaking.

CHIEF: i has a beautifil persons in my insides, arbitur / i knew that the bitches w00d luved me if they got 2 knew that persin but i guessed they cant l00ked passed my weights

ARBITER: Well listen, if only to make you feel better about yourself, I could help you start living a healthier lifestyle if you want.

[track 9 of the season 7 soundtrack fades in]

CHIEF: rly? r u >:| { serious face } ?

ARBITER: So super serious face.

CHIEF: will i get all the bitches, arbitur?

ARBITER: All the bitches, Chief. Every last one of them.

Scene 2: Jon's apartment Edit

[transition to Chief doing push-ups]

CHIEF: JESUS CHRIST [falls on the floor] / k braek tiems / tiem mother fucking out / hao many was that

ARBITER: Three.

[cut to Chief jogging across the kitchen counter, then jumping jacks]

Armordeep1

[cut to Chief posing in front of a window]

[cut to Chief trying to lift a 30 lb dumbbell, pulling, losing his grip and flying back into the closet]

[cut to Chief pulling a cereal box]

CHIEF: AAAAH / FUCK YEAH / AAAAH / PUSH IT / PUSH IT 2 THE MAX / 2 THE MOTHER FUCKING LIMITS

ARBITER: Keep it up. A dozen more reps and we'll start putting the cereal back in.

[cut to Chief doing sit-ups]

CHIEF: ninety eights / nienty niens / AND 1 HUNDRIDS [falls on his back] / holy fuck man / 1 hundrids / ONE ENTIER HUNDRIDS / that is such a hueg big numbirs

ARBITER: Well done. Now to kick things up a notch. Let's start again -- counting from ninety-seven this time.

Scene 3: Bathroom Edit

[transition to Chief staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror]

Armordeep2

CHIEF: LOCK UP UR BITCHES WORLD / THE CH33F IS BACK BABY / fuck me im so goddamn beautifil / [bent over looking at his buttocks] JUST L00KED AT THIS GORJISS ASS / AND THESE SICK MOTHER FUCKING GUNS / EVRYBODY BETER GOTS THEY'RE TICKETS / THAT M33NS U 2 ARBITUR / U KNEW WAT THE FUCK IM TALKING ABOUT

ARBITER: Considerably un-shabby results for an ultra-light six minute workout.

CHIEF: and does u knew wat the best parts is? / I HAS NOBODY TO THANKED BUTT MYSELF

ARBITER: You're an inspiration to us all.

CHIEF: and now it is the tiems 2 selibrated mai new helthy life styels / W/ POP TRATS / IT IS THOESE TIEMS

ARBITER: Uh -- if only to prevent yourself from feeling unhealthy again, maybe that's not such a great idea.

CHIEF: SP33K FOAR URSELF U FAT FUCK [track 9 fades in] MEBBEH U CULD GOTS ALL OF THE BITCHES LIEK ME IF U HAULED THAT DISGUSTING ASS OF URS AROUND THE APARTMINT A FEW TIEMS / LOLOLOLOLOL / YUM YUM YUM

[credits]

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