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This is the transcript for Season 4 episode, B& (Part 1).

← "God's Work" "B& (Part 1)" "B& (Part 2)" →

Scene 1: Jon's Moved ApartmentEdit

It is some time after the launch of Halo: Reach. After Jon moved, Arbiter and Chief started trying to find Halo: Reach since the game is out. They have no idea where in the house it is, so they search. Or rather, Arbiter searches while Chief orders him around.


  • Master Chief: IS IT IN THERE / IS IT TH3RE
  • Arbiter: I don't see it.


Chief kicks the box.


  • Master Chief: BALLS
  • Arbiter: It can't have gone far.


Arbiter finds Sonic CD case then throws it behind him.


  • Arbiter: It's gotta be in one of these boxes. We'll find it eventually.
  • Master Chief: y did he have 2 move / weather he's here or there hes still a fuckign los3r anyway
  • Arbiter: Not as big a loser as you, Chief.


Chief sits and lays on the wall.


  • Master Chief: LOOK MOAR FASTAR U FAG
  • Arbiter: Shut up! I've been at this for an hour now. You've done fuck all but stand there and complain.
  • Master Chief: but im teh boss / BOSS BOSS BOSS / every1 knows teh boss dusn't wurk


Arbiter finds Zelda game, but then puts it away then checks again.


  • Arbiter: Oh... Found something...
  • Master Chief: REACH?!/ DID U FIND REACH


Master Chief walks toward to the box.


  • Arbiter: Nope. COD.


Arbiter reveals that he found Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2.


  • Arbiter: Bummer.


Master Chief holds it.


  • Master Chief: for fuck's sake


Chief walks away.


  • Master Chief: I GESS ITLL JUST HAVE 2 DO 4 NAO
  • Arbiter: Hey! Shithead! You should be helping me look! Fine. But when I find it I'm playing first.
  • Master Chief: LOL / VERY FUNNY


Scene 2: Jon's Chair (Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2)Edit

Master Chief is playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2.


  • [Modern Warfare 2 Player]: Wow, you're such a noob.
  • Master Chief: THATS NOT WAT UR MOTHER SED
  • [Modern Warfare 2 Player]: Not you! Well you're a noob too, but there's tards like you everywhere now. I'm talking about the rather obvious JTAGer bouncing all over the place with infinite ammo.
  • Master Chief: wtf is JTAG


Chief sees a JTAGer shooting ammo without even reloading.


  • Master Chief: HOLY CRAP / how did u do taht. U DUSNT EVEN HAS 2 RELAOD UR GUNZ
  • [JTAG Hacker]: Um.. it's kind of a complex procedure, you probably wouldn't get it.
  • [Modern Warfare 2 Player]: Yeah, all that googling would wear anyone out. You're a huge douche.
  • Master Chief: TELL ME UR SECRITS
  • [JTAG Hacker]: I moded my Xbox to run homebrew code.
  • Master Chief: if u teach meh 2 hack ill srsly suck ur dick
  • [JTAG Hacker]: Well, it's kind of hard.
  • Master Chief: so is mien
  • [Modern Warfare 2 Player]: Holy Christ, that's it I'm fucking out of here.
  • Master Chief: LOL / WHAT A PUSSY
  • [JTAG Hacker]: I'll send you instructions I guess. Do you have an email address?


Scene 3: Jon's Apartment (Hallway door)Edit

Arbiter walks toward the door then turns around to Master Chief.


  • Arbiter: Reach isn't up here. I've checked the whole place. No thanks to you.
  • Master Chief: DONT MENSHIN IT
  • Arbiter: It has to be downstairs in storage somewhere.
  • Master Chief: GOOD LUCKS
  • Arbiter: It could take a while...
  • Master Chief: TAKE ALL TEH TIEMS U N33D BUDDY
  • Arbiter: ...I could use some help.
  • Master Chief: THATS A SHAME
  • Arbiter: ...You are such an asshole.


After Arbiter walks out of the door, Master Chief grabs a screwdriver and mods the Xbox 360 to run JTAG.

Scene 4: Modern Warfare 2Edit

  • Master Chief: THIS IS GUNA B FUCKIGN KILLAR


Then Chief goes back to the game, and starts using hacks.


  • Master Chief: BOOM!!1! BODY SHOT
  • [Modern Warfare 2 Player #2]: Okay, I just watched my killcam and that was seriously the most retarded shit I ever seen.
  • Master Chief: HAHAHHAHH / OMG / I CANT BREATH / THIS IS FUCKING AMASING / HAHAHAHHAH
  • [Modern Warfare 2 Player #1]: Wow, it's you again. You actually did it?
  • Master Chief: JTAG CLAN AINT NOTHIN TO FUCK WITH
  • [Modern Warfare 2 Player #3]: Wow! How are you doing that?
  • Master Chief: U WUDNT UNDRESTAND NOB / ITS A RLY COMPLECKS PROSEEDIAR
  • [Modern Warfare 2 Player #1]: I'm leaving now.
  • Master Chief: YOU FULL AGAEN?!?!?1/ U SHUD BUY STRONGAR TAMPONS
  • [Modern Warfare 2 Player #4]: This is so lame! I can't even hit you!
  • Master Chief: HAHAHHAHAHAHHA / IM INVINSIBEL / NOEN OF U RETARDS CAN STOP ME / NOTHIGN CAN STOP MEH / ROFLMAO!1!one!1!!shift!eleven!+111!


However, the Xbox 360 is quickly banned for violations of the Terms of Use. To protect the Xbox LIVE service and its members, Microsoft does not provide details about console bans. There is no recourse for Terms of Use violations.


  • Master Chief: NO / NOOOOO!!1!!1! THATS NOT FAER / THATS NOT FUCKIGN FAER / THIS IS FUCKING HORSESHIT / FUCK THIS SHIT


Arbiter comes back upstairs.


  • Arbiter: I finally found Reach!


Master Chief looks from the side of the chair at Arbiter bringing Halo: Reach in.


  • Arbiter: It was way at the back. Remember, I get to play first!
  • Master Chief: UH OH SPAGETTIOH


To be continued...


End credits.

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