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Scene 1: Easter egg Edit

[Chief and Arbiter are playing Halo 3. They are trying to make it across a large chasm to check out an Easter Egg on one of the levels.]

CHIEF: how the fuck r we suposd 2 git ovr thur

ARBITER: We have to grenade jump or something. I'll go first. Move over.

CHIEF: u moev ovar

ARBITER: You're the one who wants to see this thing! Stop being so damn difficult.

CHIEF: no u

[Arbiter runs, throws a grenade and jumps; he falls short, then falls down]

CHIEF: LOLOLLOLOLLOLOLLOLOLLOLOLLOLOL

ARBITER: Keep laughing, asshole. Let's see you do it.

CHIEF: k / chek this shit otu

[Chief runs, throws a grenade and falls]

ARBITER: Bravo. You never cease to amaze me.

CHIEF: ur mom nevar seesez 2 amaez meh in b3d

ARBITER: Sigh. Let's try something else. I'll run and jump and you shoot a rocket near my feet to boost me across.

CHIEF [switches to rocket launcher]: k go

[Arbiter gets ready; turns to Chief]

ARBITER: ...You know what I mean... right?

CHIEF: yaya gogogogogo

[Arbiter turns to Chief once again]

CHIEF: dun wury / its k

[Arbiter starts running; Chief shoots him]

ARBITER: FRIGGIN' ASSHOLE.

CHIEF: LOLOLOLLOLLLOLOLLOLOLOLLOL

[Arbiter respawns]

ARBITER: Okay... what the hell was that?

CHIEF: HHAHAHAH / MAI ROFLCOPTER / IT GOAS SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI

Scene 2: Hugs Edit

ARBITER: That's it. I'm not helping you get to this easter egg anymore. [drops controller]

CHIEF: oh coem on / dun b a pu$$y

ARBITER [going away]: No, do it yourself.

CHIEF: W8 [Arbiter stops] ARBITUR / arbitur [holds his shoulder]

[Arbiter turns around]

CHIEF: hugz?/

ARBITER: ...You want a hug?

CHIEF: ya

ARBITER: ...You want a hug... from me?

CHIEF: ya

[beat]

CHIEF: wher is teh luv / teh loev / the luv

ARBITER: ...Okay...?

[they hug]

CHIEF: thar we go / dun wory arbitur / its all gon b k

ARBITER: I am so uncomfortable right now.

CHIEF: thar thar / [silent] < 3

ARBITER: You're more affectionate than usual, at least. I'm proud of you, Chief!

[turns around to reveal a sign on his back which reads: "IM STUPED"]

CHIEF [silent]: (LULZ)

Scene 3: Brawl Edit

ARBITER: Where's the Wii remote?

CHIEF: y??/ / so u cn pleh ur stuped supar barbie poly pokit / brothars gaem, fagg0t?/

ARBITER: It's called 'Super Smash Brothers Brawl' and it's amazing, so shut up.

CHIEF: ur mom waz amasign l4st nite

ARBITER: Another mom joke? You just did that a minute ago.

CHIEF: me adn ur mom dod 1t a minit ag0

ARBITER: Nice one. Change the TV to "Video 3", will you?

[Beat]

CHIEF: wat

ARBITER: Never mind... I'll do it.

[launches game]

CHIEF: i wun pleh 2!1

ARBITER: Really? Wow. You're broadening your horizons, that's good!

CHIEF: wat dos that meen

ARBITER: Oh... it's just a phrase.

CHIEF: ur a fraes / LOLOOLLOL

ARBITER [after choosing Wolf]: Pick your guy.

CHIEF: whers mastar cheef

ARBITER: You're not in this game.

CHIEF: y teh fukc n0t?//?

ARBITER: It's just Nintendo characters. Except for Solid Snake and Sonic, but Hideo Kojima wanted Snake in, and Sega has some sort of deal with Nintendo or something.

CHIEF: but mastar cheef is a pretty cool guy / eh kills aleins and doesnt afraid of anythign

[beat]

ARBITER: ...What the hell did you just say?! That didn't make any sense.

CHIEF: neethar dos ur face / I WIL PIK SAMIS BCUZ HE IS KIDN OF A ROBOT LIEK / MASTAR CHEEF I GESS

ARBITER: She.

CHIEF: wat?/

ARBITER: Samus is female.

CHIEF: O RLY?

ARBITER: Yeah.

CHIEF: hawt / dos she hav boobz?/

ARBITER: I would assume so, Chief...

CHIEF: COOL / H1GH FIEV

[beat]

ARBITER: ...No.

CHIEF: coem on / dun leev a brothar hanging

ARBITER: What the hell is up with you today? Are you high?

CHIEF: on lief, arbitur / on lief

ARBITER: Come on, let's play.

[the map turns to be Final Destination; background music starts playing]

GAME: 3... 2... 1... GO!

CHIEF: how do i shot lazar beem

ARBITER: Press B. The red button.

CHIEF: wtf is up w/ this controlar / ITS LIEK FUCKING LEGO

CHIEF: IMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER / SHOOP DA WHOOP [Arbiter bounces the attack] HOLY SHIT HAX / NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

ARBITER: Are you stupid?

CHIEF: STOP FUCKIGN HITING ME FAGOT / let me kil u pl0x [he loses]

GAME: GAME!

Scene 4: Conclusion Edit

CHIEF: stuped ghey fuckign helo kity barbie adn ken sesame / street pu$$y poly pokit wimpy kidy ghey / stupid brotharz braul

ARBITER: You're quitting after one knockout? Your loss, idiot.

CHIEF: halo 3 iz way betar

ARBITER: Why does it always have to be a competition? Either one or the other? Can't we agree that they are BOTH great games?

CHIEF: no

ARBITER: Oh! Simple as that then, is it?

CHIEF: yes

ARBITER: Point made. Yes... You're right. It all makes sense to me now. How silly of me.

CHIEF: glad u agre / nao / ima go watch sexay pr0nz

[goes to booble.ca and types "boobzzzzzzz" into the search box]

CHIEF: o ya / nice / thats so hawt

ARBITER: What the hell is this on my back? "IM STUPED"?

CHIEF: SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI

[credits]

Director's Notes

Yes, I have a Wii. I'm a Wii60-er, PS3
blows nutsack, all it has going for it is
Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots.

Some people have been asking what
OST and BGM mean in my music credits.
OST stands for "Official Soundtrack",
and BGM stands for "Background Music"

As you can see, the music I've been using
for my DigitalPh33r Productions intro
is from nothing other than Super Smash
Bros. Brawl's epic soundtrack, forged
in the fires of infinite musical win. It's
a remix of the old Corteria theme from
Starfox on the SNES.

Get Brawl if you haven't already, seriously.
It's wicked. Wolf's my favourite character
so far, and I play with the Wiimote
sideways. Some might argue that the
Nintendo Gamecube or Wii Classic
Controller is superior, but I find the precision
of the Wiimote's D-Pad to be a great
benefit.

Just thought I'd throw that in there.

Thanks for watching.

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