Company (Part One)/Transcript

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Scene 1:Jon's Apartment[]

Veiwer discretion warning is shown. Opening credits roll.

Arbiter is seen watching a Halo 3 machinima called The Adventures of Frank and Joe.

Joe: "Hi,Frank.
Frank: "Hi,Joe.
Joe: "Say,Frank. What say we take the Warthog out for a spin."
Frank: "That sounds fun and it sounds like a good idea 'cause it sounds fun.

Frank gets it the Warthog and Joe kills him with a Rocket Launcher.

An Elite is seen running towards them.

Elite: "Blarg! I'm an alien and imma kill you with my guns 'cause I hate humans 'cause I'm an alien!

Arbiter grabs a knife and prepares to start cutting his wrist. Chief walks up.

Chief: "ARBITUR! imma just had teh graetest ideh evar!"
Arbiter: "I've grown sour of your so-called "great ideas". I haven't forgotten about you trading in our Dark Knight tickets that one time to see Space Chimps.
Chief: "ull liek tis 1
Arbiter: "Doubt it.
Chief: "u no hao a lot of kids maek crappy machinima?
Arbiter: "Believe me, I'm aware."

The Elite is seen killing Frank and Joe.

The Elite teabags them.

Elite: "Teabag! I'm an alien!"
Chief: "So hao abot this / we start our own mashinima produkshun company?"
Arbiter: "Sounds lame. I dunno.
Chief: "cum on it'll be fun and our sho will rox0r everybodys bockserz
Arbiter: "I don't have anything better to do I suppose. [beat] Alright. I'm in."

Later they are seen it the kitchen floor with a dry-erase board for ideas.

Chief is seen wearing a neck tie that almost envelopes his head.

Arbiter: "Like Mother Teresa meets Bill Lumberg.
Chief: "IM TEH PRESIDINT OF @ C0MPANY NAO ARBITUR / i haz 2 l00k liek a business man"
Arbiter: "We're the only ones here. And this isn't a real company."
Chief: "shut ^[up] and be thinkign of sum ideas faggot / i f33l liek im doing all teh werk heer
Arbiter: "You haven't written a goddamn thing on the board other than that giant dong you drew three hours ago.

A crude penis drawing is seen on the board.

Chief: "i does all teh paparwerk"
Arbiter: "What paperwork?"
Chief: "for teh akounts adn stuff / and teh NASDAQ / and teh stocks portfolio
Arbiter: "You're just spouting stupid business jargon. You're full of shit.
Chief: "no u"

They just sit and stare at each other for a little bit.

Chief: "[beat] cummign up w/ ideas maeks meh :( [sad face]"
Arbiter: "It's not easy...
Chief: "hao abot instead of coeming up w/ sumthign original we maek a sequel 2 something thats already been maed?"
Arbiter: "That sucks.
Chief: "does u hav a better ideh?"
Arbiter: "...What were you thinking of exactly? A sequel to what?
Chief: "a rly rly awesom mov33 thats left wide open foar a squel / 1 that's just beggign to have one maed"

Arbiter is seen reading a script. It says " The Shawshank Redemtion 2: Taking back New York" by Master Chief."

Arbiter: "Not only is this a complete disgrace to the original film but it's quite possibly the most inane script ever written."
Chief: "ARBITUR U JUST DUNT UNDARSTAND MAI GENIOUS"
Arbiter: "I have the feeling nobody else will either.

Chief is seen talking to three players in-game (without Recon Armor since it was taken away for his cheating previously).

Chief: "GENTILMEN / i thank eech of u proffesional aktors from arount teh gloeb / w/ ur halp we will maek artistik vision a reality"
XBL player 1: "Is it okay if we film at night 'cause I have school tomarrow.
XBL player 2: "Yeah me too.
Arbiter: "Dude, you've written like five thousand different characters into this movie. I don't think three actors gonna cut it.
Chief: "we'll impr0viez"
Arbiter: "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
Chief: "filmmign shud b rappd up in abou 2 munths"
XBL player 2: "What the hell are we filming here? Lord of the Rings?
Chief: "shut ^ im not payign u homos 2 complaign"
XBL player 1: "How much are you even paying us?"
XBL player 2: "Yeah."
Chief: "ur faem on teh films rel33s shud be enuff / [beat] GOD DAMMIT / wat do kids want? liek hot weels and french friez and stuff?"
Arbiter: "Money. Like everyone else."
Chief: "FUCK / get Jon's wallet / c if he haz n e cash"
Arbiter: Go to hell.
Chief: "l00k gaiz / ill find soemthing 2 giv u l8r / butt we shudn't worry abot moni3z / our focus shud b on bringign mai art 2 lief / and teh four of us shall maek it so"
XBL player 3: "Actually ugh, I'm out. No offense but this sounds incredibly stupid.

The player walks away.

To be continued...

Credits roll. The end.