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Transcript[]

Scene 1:Jon's Bedroom[]

Viewer discretion warning is shown. Opening credits roll.

Arbiter goes up to Jon's bedroom door. A sign made by Chief that says" Do not distreb" is seen on the door.

  • Arbiter: 'Do not distreb'? Fuck's sake. Chief?
  • Chief: fuck off im busy"
  • Arbiter: Doing what?

Arbiter goes into the room. Chief is seen wearing his tie, sitting on a stack of books.

  • Chief: cants u read? didn't u saw mai goddam sign?
  • Arbiter: Yes. I wasn't sure what "distrebbing" meant, but I didn't think you'd mind being 'disturbed' for a minute or two.What the hell are you doing in here?
  • Chief: wurks arbitur / wurks / a turm u may not B familiars w/"
  • Arbiter: You know, for a company such as yours to thrive, eventually some ACTUAL work needs to be done.
  • Chief: i cud not agrees moar"
  • Arbiter: ...Really?
  • Chief: rly / get ur ass 2 wurk or ur fierd"
  • Arbiter: You can't expect me to make this sequel to The Shawshank Redemption by myself! I thought this was supposed to be a team effort.
  • Chief: u think im just sittign on mai ass? im up 2 mai fuckign nutsack in paper werk here"

Arbiter looks at the papers.

  • Arbiter: These papers are blank, you poser asshole!"

Arbiter grabs Chief and drags him out of the room

  • Arbiter: Come on. You're helping me make this goddamn movie."
  • Chief: ur covenant buttocks r so fiared"

Scene 2:Jon's apartment[]

Later Arbiter is seen playing a game. Jon's cell phone rings and Arbiter picks it up.

  • Arbiter: Hello?
  • Chief: arbitur this is ur BOSS callign / I AM UR BOSS / BOSS BOSS BOSS BOSS BOSS
  • Arbiter: This is ridiculous. You're only in the other room.
  • Chief: im faxing a documint that i n33d u 2 signs"
  • Arbiter: Document? What document?

A legal document comes through the fax machine. Arbiter picks it up.

  • Chief: its a non disclosher documint"
  • Arbiter: Non-disclosure? What the hell am I gonna disclose? The fact that your stupid tie envelops your entire stupid fucking head?"
  • Chief: U R DOING MASSIVE DAMAEG 2 UR BOSSES TESTICLES / BOSS BOSS I AM UR BOSS"
  • Arbiter: I just thought that our friendship was strong enough that we didn't have to secure our trust with legal documents."
  • Chief: u r wrongs arbitur / ded wrongs / this r a bisnis and it n33ds to be rans liek 1 / sign taht document nao"
  • Arbiter: I'm not signing shit. Shove your document up your ass.

Another document comes through.

  • Arbiter: What the hell is this, now?
  • Chief: It's another documint / statign taht u will sign teh 1st documint or face federal charges / signs it nao"

Later Arbiter goes to Chief with the documents.

  • Chief: u signed them?"

Arbiter hands Chief the papers.

  • Arbiter: You can also consider those signatures as my resignation.
  • Chief: [beat] wat?"
  • Arbiter: I'm tired of this little operation. You've taken what was meant to be an amusing passtime, squeezed the humanity from it and buried it under a mountain of legal jargon as well as your own ego and desire for power. Finish your sequel to The Shawshank Redemption [points at his crotch] and give this a little tug while you're at it.

Arbiter leaves the room.

  • Arbiter: Jerk-off."

Scene 3: Orbital[]

Chief remaining actors are seen waiting for him. Chief comes down the stairs.

  • Chief: gud evenign gentil mens / u r earlies / i lieks that very much / at least you 2 undarstand hao bissinisus r supposed to be rannz-"
  • XBL Player 1: Uh, we're quitting.
  • Chief: wat?"
  • XBL Player 2: Yeah, we just read the script you e-mailed us last night, and it's seriously the most retarded thing we've ever read."
  • XBL Player 1: And your friend told us what an egotistical cumshot you are. Later."

The actors walk away.

  • Chief: "WTF / I MAED THAT PUBIC BUSH SIGN A NON DISCLOSURE AGREEMINTS
  • XBL player 2: "[laughs] I'd take another look at those, if I were you.

Chief is seen in the real world. He angrily throws the controller and looks at the papers. Arbiter has signed "FUCK" on the first document and "YOU" on the second.

  • Chief: "taht son of a bitch

End credits roll.

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