| ← "Wake" | "Dead Weight" | "Spiraling" → |
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Scene 1: Picking armor[]
[track 12 from the season 7 soundtrack is heard]
CHIEF: shit -- u didnt formatted that drive, did u?
ARBITER: Your porn is safe.
CHIEF: thank gawd / i gots sum r33l hardcore shit on they're, bro / liek u w00dnt fucking beleive
[Arbiter is undecided between white and steel armor]
CHIEF: hurry yp and pick one, ass butt
Scene 2: The Wait[]
[Eugene is standing on a burning building; sees Arbiter and Chief approach slowly in front of him]
EUGENE: We've started a few fires on the message boards, but myself, Colin and Tyler have yet to be linked to the bans that we've dished. Colin's just given us the go ahead.
CHIEF: ABOUT FUCKING TIEM / who the hell makes something as ossim possim as frag bans and then all of a suddenly decides not 2 used them / if u axe me, it seemed like hes a few sandwiches short of a full deck
ARBITER: Because why play a car games with cards when you've got a perfectly good loaf in the freezer? Not to mention that people are obviously lines up around every block in the world to ask for your opinions.
CHIEF: dat sum of those sarcasms of urs, arbitur? / bitches doesnt knew about my onions / their delishiss
EUGENE: He's cautious. Try not to say or do anything that piss him off. Despite his acceptance of you when you met him, I've since had to talk him out of a plan to take you by surprise and ban you anyway.
CHIEF: THAT MOTHERFUCKER / >:O { angry surprised face }
EUGENE: He's cool now. I think. Black armor now, huh? Kinda lame but whatever.
CHIEF: NO U
ARBITER: Seemed appropriate enough. [beat] What are we waiting for?
EUGENE: Good question.
CHIEF: :DDDDDDDDDD { super happy face }
Montage[]
["Feel It" is heard]
[Arbiter, Chief, Tyler and Colin are seen walking around Highlands. Eugene watches from on top of a building]
[Cut to the toys sitting in the apartment window smoking]
[ One of the rowdy players Arbiter encountered earlier is seen harassing a player in forge world. Eugene watches nearby.]
ROWDY PLAYER 1: You'd better watch your tone when you talk to me, bitch. I might reconfigure your hard drive so that it explodes and fires shrapnel up your dick hole! You don't mess with me.
[Arbiter is seen on a cliff in the distance]
ROWDY PLAYER 1: You don't fuck with me, understand? I'm like a runaway train, dude! [a rocket is seen heading towards him] You don't stand in place like a dipshit when you see me comin'! Not unless you want me to lay the smack down! I'll mess you up-
[The rocket kills the player]
[Arbiter and Chief are seen in the bathtub.]
[Chief opens a liquor bottle and fills a shot glass, spilling some of it.]
ARBITER:"You trying to fill the glass or the tub?"
CHIEF: shut ^[up] adn drink ^ bitch
[Chief slides the glass to Arbiter a fills one for himself]
[They drink. Chief keeps refilling the glasses and they continue to drink.]
[cut to Chief fainting with a glass on his head]
[The purist clan is seen on Boardwalk. Emma is seen talking to another player]
EMMA: Our clan's goal is to set a shining example of the respective play that the network sorely needs. What were you thinking? I take no pleasure in having someone removed from our clan,but I have no choice when they fail to follow our two simple rules: [Chief is seen coming out of the tunnels with a detatched turret] No hardware or software modifications and no explicit language.
[Chief approaches a group of players]
CHIEF: o hai / u [bleep]s redy 2 die?
[Cut to Chief crushing cereal with Jon's shoe]
ARBITER: Must you bang so hard?
CHIEF: tahts wut ur m0m sed / lollolololollolollololol
[Another Rowdy player Arbiter also encountered earlier is seen holding a player a gunpoint on Anchor 9]
ROWDY PLAYER 3: You retaded mother fucker. I saw you coming a mile away. Did you really think you could get the drop on me? You'd have to get up so early that you'd likely be killed by dinosaurs before you got a chance.
[Arbiter uncloaks behind the player and assassinates him.]
ARBITER: Rawr.
[Arbiter shoots the corpse, frags the other player and shoots his body.]
[Chief is seen lightin a roll of crushed cereal as Arbiter prepares to smoke it.]
ARBITER: I'm ashamed. This is beyond stupid.
CHIEF: u sed taht liek its a bad things
[Cut to Chief spraying the purists with the turret, killing them one by one.]
CHIEF: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL / c u all in hell muther fuckerz
[The player with Emma runs away. Emma sees the massacre.]
EMMA: What the fuck?
[A player runs over.]
XBL PLAYER: Emma! Everyone that's been fragged so far has been disconected! Don't let this player-
[Chief kills him.]
CHIEF: o ha sexay grill friend
[Emma runs to the tunnels and gets on a mongoose. She sees Chief in front of her with a Spartan laser.]
CHIEF: u got meh all fired ^ ounce up0n a tiems ago / im h33r 2 return teh favors / imma chargin mah lazer / shoop da woop
[Chief lasers Emma and procedes to teabag her corpse.]
CHIEF: lollolololollolololololol
[cut to Arbiter hiding on a cliff with a grenade launcher on Breakpoint.]
[Two players get in a warthog. the last rowdy player kills the driver and gets in the seat.]
XBL PLAYER: Uh, that dude was on our team.
ROWDY PLAYER 2: I felt like driving! [they drive off] Anyone who gets in my way is deserving of punishment! Everyone get whats comin' to them. No exceptions!
[The dive past Eugene across the bridge. They drive over Arbiters cooking grenade and get EMPed, crasshing into a rock.]
ROWDY PLAYER 2: Shit!
[Arbiter walks over firing a shotgun. The rowdy player runs to the edge of an abyss. The warthog explodes and kills the other player. Arbiter walks to the rowdy player.]
ARBITER: No exceptions.
ROWDY PLAYER 2: I remember you! What's this little display about? Pathetic attempt at saving face?"
ARBITER: Removing yours.
[Arbiter shotguns the player in the face and his body falls into the chasm.]
[background music fades out]
EUGENE: What's the word? How do you feel?
[closeup on Arbiter; beat]
ARBITER: Good.
[silent credits]