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← "King" Endgame "Out of Reach" →

Part 1 Edit

Scene 1: Couch Edit

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Scene 2: Pursuit Edit

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Scene 3: Couch Edit

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Part 2 Edit

Scene 4: Halo Edit

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Scene 5: Couch Edit

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Scene 6: Kitchen Edit

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Scene 7: Couch Edit

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Part 3 Edit

Scene 8: Halo Edit

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Scene 9: Desk Edit

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Part 4 Edit

Scene 10: Amputation Edit

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Scene 11: Bathroom Edit

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Scene 12: Scott Edit

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Scene 13: Floor Edit

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Scene 14: Halo Edit

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Part 5 Edit

Scene 15: Microwave Edit

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Scene 16: Halo Edit

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Scene 17: Confrontation Edit

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Part 6 Edit

Scene 18: Hall Edit

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Scene 19: Halo Edit

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Scene 20: Credits Edit

The scene transitions back to Jon's Apartment. A packed box is seen by Jon's Doorway and the message "One Week Later" appears on the screen. Arbiter and Chief have been packed inside the box.


  • Arbiter: Ready to go to California, Chief?
  • Master Chief: yes  /  how longs r weh goigns 2 b in tihs stupid box
  • Arbiter: Probably at least for the next twenty-four hours.
  • Master Chief: this sux
  • Arbiter: Yeah.


As the toys begin talking the credits begin to roll, slowly.


  • Arbiter: ...We should find a way to pass the time.
  • Master Chief: LETS TALK ABOT STUF
  • Arbiter: Okay, what do you want to talk about?
  • Master Chief: wats ur most favrit vide0 gaems of all tiem?/
  • Arbiter: My favorite video game? Probably Ocarina of Time, as cliche as that sounds.
  • Master Chief: is taht the 1 wher ur the guy and u has to fly thru all thoes gay rigns all the tiem
  • Arbiter: No, that's Superman 64.
  • Master Chief: that gaem wuz dope
  • Arbiter: ...Yeah.
  • Master Chief: not as dope as taht racing games tho wher u can reverses at light sp33d!11
  • Arbiter: You mean Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing?
  • Master Chief: YEH  /  sebulba had teh best space ship in that game
  • Arbiter: That's Star Wars: Podracer.
  • Master Chief: wut wuz that othr star wars gaem
  • Arbiter: ...Shadows of the Empire?
  • Master Chief: NO  /  the 1 wher u gotta taeks the picturs of all the monstar
  • Arbiter: ...Pokémon Snap?
  • Master Chief: yeh  /  taht wuz the bestist star wars gaem
  • Arbiter: I hate all of the new Pokemon they have now. They should've just stuck with the original one hundred fifty-one.
  • Master Chief: GO TO HELL  /  bidoof is mai favorit pokeymans
  • Arbiter: Bidoof is retarded! He looks like testicular cancer. ...With a mouth. Probably so it can suck dick.
  • Master Chief: wats UR favritist pokeymans?/
  • Arbiter: Gengar, hands down. Gengar will fuck your shit up.
  • Master Chief: y does u think brock alwaes haz his eyes closed??
  • Arbiter: He probably gets sprayed with mace all the time since he's like, a borderline rapist.
  • Master Chief: I liekd teh tv show
  • Arbiter: It was alright, I remember watching it when The Zone was still on.
  • Master Chief: wats taht
  • Arbiter: It was like a sub-channel of YTV and it had a bunch of sweet cartoons and stuff. It was only cool when Phil was hosting though.
  • Master Chief: halo unyielding is sw33t
  • Arbiter: Oh yeah, that online Halo series? Yeah, it's pretty cool.
  • Master Chief: I like keys 2 the vip.
  • Arbiter: That show sucks ass.
  • Master Chief: BUTS IT TELS U HWO 2 SCOER THE CHICKS
  • Arbiter: It tells you how to score whores. You might as well stick your penis in a septic tank.
  • Master Chief: TAHTS Y U WEARS A RUBBAR
  • Arbiter: I'm sure any diseases those chicks have could eat through steel, never mind latex.
  • Master Chief: I am a lot vereh moar worri3dz abot teh swine flu 2 b honists w/ u.
  • Arbiter: You WOULD be.
  • Master Chief: it's killed 3000 ppl
  • Arbiter: And the REGULAR flu that ironically no one's really scared of has killed millions. The government just wants to squeeze money out of the remaining vaccinations before they expire. What better way to do that than start a panic? ...Why are you even worried? You're plastic.
  • Master Chief: THAT'S RACIST  /  we r all equal
  • Arbiter: Right. Sorry.
  • Master Chief: sometiems arbitur / u can b so insensitivs.
  • Arbiter: I think the world could use a little LESS sensitivity to be honest.
  • Master Chief: tahts graet and evrythign arbitur and imma let u finish, but-
  • Arbiter: Enough with that fucking Kanye West shit!
  • Master Chief: C  /  ur racist.
  • Arbiter: Right. Even though one of my favorite stand-up comedians is Paul Mooney.
  • Master Chief: who is taht
  • Arbiter: He was on Chappelle's Show, he also used to work on that show in Living Color and write for Richard Pryor
  • Master Chief: I wud not noes  /  all I has ben watchigns on teh TVs is hockey
  • Arbiter: ...Cool, man. Fingers crossed our boys bring home the cup this year!
  • Master Chief: U R A CANUKS FAN 2??/
  • Arbiter: I'm joking, I don't give a shit. Hockey sucks.
  • Master Chief: U SUK
  • Arbiter: I like how you update your Twitter every time someone scores a goal. That's SO lame.
  • Master Chief: I <3 TWITT3R
  • Arbiter: Twitter's dumb. By the way, I've noticed you also update your Twitter every time you take a shit. As if anybody cares. God, it's true. Everyone's gonna end up like those fat people in Wall-E on the space ship.
  • Master Chief: arnt u goigns 2 asks meh what is r mai favirit gaem is?
  • Arbiter: ...What's your favorite game, Chief?
  • Master Chief: U GOTTA GESS  /  u gets 20 gesses
  • Arbiter: Is it Halo 3?
  • Master Chief: DAMMIT


The screen then fades to black as the Credits are nearly finished. Towards the end, The Director's Notes states:


Thanks so much for sticking with the series from the beginning 'till the end, even whenever it gobbled phallus.

Thank you also for your kind e-mails, you know who you are. Even if I haven't replied to you, all of my e-mails have been read and appreciated. Even the death threats, and I'd politely like to request that those writers blow me.

Peace.

Thanks for watching!

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