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This is the transcript for the Season 6 episode, Femme Fatale.

Scene 1: Anchor 9Edit

On the map Anchor, Duncan is seen playing with two Xbox-Live Players (one yellow, and the other green and blue,) the three of them are cornering a female player, who is playing with a male gender model.


  • Duncan: Name me one thing a woman has ever done that's worthwhile. Name one, go.
  • Female Player #1: Where do you find the nerve to say something like that? Women have accomplished plenty of worthwhile things, save for bringing your worthless hide into the world.
  • Duncan: Oh forget birthing, we're not counting natural body functions. I don't consider any dump I've ever taken as a worthwhile accomplishment.
  • Duncan's Friend #2: To quote the great philosopher, Chad Warden, "Everybody knows bitches can't do shit other than suck dick!"
  • Duncan's Friend #1: Powerful words, ones to live by.
  • Female Player #1: Look, I joined your server with the hopes of playing a few decent matches. Not to be attacked without purification
  • Duncan's Friend #1: Through who's friend's list?
  • Female Player #1: What difference does that make?
  • Duncan's Friend #2: So we can ban his ass!
  • Female Player #1: Speaking of asses, would you mind explaining to me why you're behaving this way? What have I done?
  • Duncan's Friend #2: Why are you using the wrong gender model? Are the menus too complex to you?
  • Female Player #1: Take one more guess as to why I don't use the female model, and put a teaspoon of thought into it this time!
  • Duncan: What is it that keeps you gamer girls run to gaming? None of you can play for shit. Are all of you dense, or do you just revel in the attention it draws towards you fugly bitches because you can't get a decent dicking?
  • Female Player #1: You're a despicible human being that isn't worth my time to argue with.
  • Duncan: Uh, because you can't. No woman can outsmart me.
  • Female Player #1: I'm reporting you!
  • Duncan: Oh feel free, It won't do a fucking thing. This is getting dull, boot her.
  • Duncan's Friend #2: On it!
  • Female Player #1: You know what? I feel really sorry for you.
  • Duncan: Here we go...
  • Female Player #1: You're probably such an arrogant prick because your mother abused you, either that or you're just incredibly lonely. If that's the case, you'll never establish any meaningful relationships if this is the way you treat people.
  • Duncan: I'd ask if that was a promise, if I didn't already know this was bullshit!
  • Female Player #1: I really hope for you sake that you--!


Duncan's Friend in Blue and Green snips the female player in the head, killing her and kicking her from the server.


  • Duncan's Friend #1: Slap my titties.
  • Duncan's Friend #2: HA!


Duncan and his friends turn around and prepares to leave, but are stopped by the sudden appearance of Kylie, who has been watching him and his friends.


  • Kylie: Absolutely appauling behavior. I'd be offended, but I realize it's symptomatic of intensive brain damage. A common male trait I've noticed.
  • Duncan's Friend #1: Jesus another one? They're like roaches today.
  • Kylie: I'm not the insect here kid.


Duncan's Friend in yellow tries to kick Kylie from the server, but he cannot do so because of her hack enabled.


  • Duncan's Friend #2: What the hell?!
  • Duncan: Don't bother.
  • Duncan's Friend #1: Do you know this bitch or something?
  • Duncan: Uh, she's in my clan.
  • Duncan's Friend #1: "In your clan?" What the fuck are you talking about?
  • Duncan's Friend #2: Get out! No vaginas allowed!
  • Kylie: I get the impression you got that on a sign nailed to your bedroom door. Guess your furry porn, and your hamline zip-lock bag full of vasoline pressed underneath your mattress will have to suffice forever.
  • Duncan: What do you want?
  • Kylie: Are you implying the possibilty that's I've come here to mingle with your retarded, fucking friends? I'd like to chat with you regarding something clan-related. If you can find it within yourself to part with your "valuable time," I realize how busy you've been doing jack shit.


Kylie walks away, leading the way to have Duncan talk to her.


  • Duncan: Uh, give me a minute.


Duncan follows after Kylie.


  • Duncan's Friend #2: What the fuck is going on? Did the clock just strike 12 on opposite day?
  • Duncan's Friend #1: Is this real-life?


Kylie and Duncan are lead to a separate room with no players in it. Once they're inside the room, they activate their mics for a private chat.


  • Duncan: What?
  • Kylie: What have you been doing?!
  • Duncan: "What have you been doing?" Let's see, let's spend uh, let's spend more than one second pondering this.
  • Kylie: You were given a job to do and you're not doing it! First Adam, who for whatever reason is nowhere to be fucking found all of a sudden. Now you?
  • Duncan: How would you know?
  • Kylie: You're game's history, dipshit. Ever since we took the moderators out, you've been playing nothing but customs with the mouthbreathers from that hysterical joke you call a list of friends.
  • Duncan: Alright, fair enough. More importantly, why would you care?
  • Kylie: I couldn't less of a shit what you do with your time. My only concern is whether or not you still expect a paycut after pussing out before the job is finished.
  • Duncan: Well, you can lay that pretty little head of yours to rest. I don't expect anything.
  • Kylie: Why not?
  • Duncan: Christ's Sake! What is it you want from me?
  • Kylie: I'm just trying to make sense of your thought process here, which is a little difficult with it being complete illogical. You've done the crime, and now you've done half the job. And whether or not you take your share of the reward, the network is fucked. Don't get me wrong, I'm delighted with the idea of taking into a bigger slice of the pie, but purely for the sake of common sense. Why not just see this through? Don't be such a fucking idiot.
  • Duncan: For starters, you're wrong. I've done my job in its enitrity. I was under the impression that the job ended with taking out TOSERS, and I took it on because the organization seemed to me like some serious 1984 shit. I was aware it was a shady area but overall, I felt like I was doing the right thing. I don't feel that way anymore, I don't want nothing more to do with Chaos Theosis, I don't want to see the network go, I don't think it's right!
  • Kylie: The "grand piece-of-shit emperor of chauvinism" doesn't feel our behavior is morally justified? Just wanna make sure I'm understanding this correctly.
  • Duncan: Think whatever you want of me. I don't care.
  • Kylie: You want to know something else I think of you? I'm thinking you might try pulling something really stupid like ratting us out.
  • Duncan: What?! No! I'm not gonna say shit Kylie! You, Adam, and Clyde do whatever you want. Just leave me out of it, and you'll have no trouble from me.


Kylie approaches Duncan really closely until they're face-to-face.


  • Kylie: I have your word on that?
  • Duncan: Yes.
  • Kylie: Enjoy your playtime, pussy.


Kylie walks away.


  • Duncan: You should really consider backing out too you know, before it's too late.


Kylie stops, turns and faces Duncan as she's about to head out a doorway


  • Duncan: You're banning countless innocent players with no just cause, and threatening the activity of a very popular and profitable service. People go to prison for shit like this. Whatever you're getting, it isn't worth the risk.
  • Kylie: I'll feel no regret watching this sexist, racist, homophobic cesspit of acne-ridden, basement-dwelling neckbeards burn and whither. I'll be helping them. I'll be shaking them out from their addiction like you've locked the heroine addict away for his own good, and I'd gladly do it for free.


Duncan's Friends come out and see Kylie and Duncan together.


  • Duncan's Friend #2: You're still not talking to this cunt, are you?


Kylie takes out her sniper rifle and snipes both of Duncan's Friends, killing and fragbanning them. Kylie loads her sniper and takes one last look at Duncan before turning and leaving the server while Duncan watches her.

Opening Credits roll.

Scene 2: Jon's ApartmentEdit

Back at Jon's Apartment, Arbiter is seen taking a permanent marker and marking an "X" on Adam's picture. He then step back to quickly admire the picture, before taking the sharpie and scribbling all over the picture in fury.


  • Arbiter: ...I'm still not satisfied.
  • Master Chief: ur mom was satesfied last nite


Arbiter takes Adam's picture of the wall.


  • Arbiter: Please, please give it a rest. I'm begging you. You're really wearing me out with that. I can't take it anymore.
  • Master Chief: thats wat ur mom sed


Arbiter and Chief stare at one another in silence at Chief's "mom" joke.


  • Master Chief: lol


In Jon's Bathroom, Arbiter crumbles up Adam's picture and tosses it in the toilet.


  • Master Chief: bai bai


Arbiter then steps on the Toilet's handle, flushing it and Adam's picture down the toilet, while Arbiter is sitting on the Toilet seat, watching.


  • Arbiter: Flushed with the rest of the turds.


Arbiter and Master Chief are now back at the wall with Chaos Theosis's pictures on it. Arbiter is staring at Clyde's picture.


  • Arbiter: Now the 'MILF Hunter' becomes the hunted.
  • Master Chief: NO WAY ASSHOLE, it is teh tiems 2 go aftar killar kittin nao arbitur, IT IS THOESE TIMES :3
  • Arbiter: I don't think that's a good idea. In fact, Hunter should really hace been our first target. ...But our favorite pre-pubescent ganja-worshipper really had it coming.
  • Master Chief: WHO GIVES A FUCK
  • Arbiter: Well, you do, clearly.
  • Master Chief: i wants 2 go gets teh chick 1st bcuz im not fucking homogenized liek u
  • Arbiter: That doesn't mean what you think it does. Idiot.
  • Master Chief: y does u have such a hard on 4 this asshoel?
  • Arbiter: Zombie apocalypse. One of them is shuffling towards you. What body part do you go for?
  • Master Chief: his dick
  • Arbiter: Try again.
  • Master Chief: o yea his balls
  • Arbiter: Strike two.
  • Master Chief: hmm, bit i cant thot of n e moar othar things arbitur
  • Arbiter: His head, smart one.
  • Master Chief: but i fucking sed that alredy
  • Arbiter: We're eliminating a dangerous threat, Chief. This isn't your opportunity to get your cyber on.
  • Master Chief: lol

Arbiter turns to the wall.


  • Arbiter: We need to remove the part of this organism that's making the decisions.
  • Master Chief: but arbitur u gots 2 picked teh kid 1st tho REMEMBIR?

Arbiter turns and face Chief abruptly.


  • Arbiter: I swear to God Chief, if you say that--
  • Master Chief: HWO CUM U GETS 2 PICKED ALL TEH PPLZ ARBITUR, U SHUD LET ME PICKED A PPLZ NAO ARBITUR ITS ONLY FAIER, ITS ONLY FAIER ARBITUR K? I GETS 2 PICKED NAO K? K ARBITUR? K? K?
  • Arbiter: Okay, Chief. Fuck me.
  • Master Chief: no thx
  • Arbiter: It's an expression. I'm expressing my disbelief in your juvenility. I suppose it's not a huge deal what order we do this in. I doubt they even know Adam's missing yet and that they'd even care if they did. We'll go for Kitten next.

Master Chief jumps for joy at being able to hunt down Kylie next.


  • Master Chief: :D
  • Arbiter: But hey. You take her out at the very first opportunity you get. No flirting or fucking around, are we clear on that?
  • Master Chief: :(
  • Arbiter: Chief, I'm serious. If you fuck all of this up over a girl, I'll tear the tape from you broken limbs and stuff them all up your ass.
  • Master Chief: shut up alreadie, I'LL FRAGGED HER, ok shithed? u dusnt has 2 wory arbitur SO DO NOT. its all gon b k. k arbitur? hugz?
  • Arbiter: No.
  • Master Chief: fien fuck you i w00dnt acshuly hugged u n e wayz, LETS GO KILL A KITT3N LOL

Master Chief heads off to go hunt for Kylie but is stopped by Arbiter


  • Arbiter: Tomorrow.
  • Master Chief: WTF omg DONT GOES 2 BED, SL33P IS FOR PUSSIES
  • Arbiter: Guess I'm a pussy then. I've got square eyes from playing as long as we have already and I'm fucking exhausted.
  • Master Chief: fien ill killed her myslef
  • Arbiter: Don't be so stupid. Our chances of wasting her are multiplied by a hundred if I'm with you. But on second thought, I guess we can't multiply from zero, can we?
  • Master Chief: omg ur so diluted, im ossim possim
  • Arbiter: Whether you are indeed possum-grade awesome or not is irrelevant. it's about strength in numbers. Two's better than one. I know I wouldn't want to go after her alone either.
  • Master Chief: o rly?
  • Arbiter: Of course. Tomorrow morning. First thing.

Arbiter is seen walking off as Master Chief watches him leave.

Scene 3: Forge WorldEdit

In the map Forge World, Kylie is seen walking through the area, she then stops and sees a female player (in a male spartan model,) driving a Warthog through a tunnel.


  • Female Player #2: Warthog, Cave Entrance, Riverside


Kylie pulls out her Needle Rifle and prepares to shoot the player, but then the female player is destroyed by a rocket fired by another female player. She turns and sees two of them. One blue (in a male model,) and another red (in a female model.)


  • Female Player #3: I'm gonna miss this.
  • Female Player #4: Ugh, don't remind me. I really hope they manage to patch the game before they decide to shut it down.
  • Female Player #3: They haven't been saying anything since the last announcement, I don't think they're having much luck in stopping the cheaters.
  • Female Player #4: Assholes...
  • Female Player #3: Yeah...


Kylie walks away, letting them live. Kylie then walks on the beach and sees Master Chief looking at her from afar distance.


  • Master Chief: um..... hai :3


Back at Jon's Apartment, Chief is seen playing the Xbox on his own and Arbiter is asleep on Jon's Bed. Back in the game, Kylie gets closer to Chief.


  • Kylie: Wow, of all the servers I could be thrown into, the powers that be paired with your retarded ass once again. Can you please explain to me the purpose behind the synthetic voice? Are you genuinely handicapped, because I sure hope as hell it isn't suppose to be funny.
  • Master Chief: ur rly a grill rite?
  • Kylie: Are you really as thick as you sound?
  • Master Chief: o u betar beleeved it babby  /  is it will b ok if i tells u sumthing super secrit?
  • Kylie: What's that?
  • Master Chief: .....i <3 u :3
  • Kylie: This is a joke too right? Congratulations, you're the worst comedian on the planet. You deserve a web redemption. Actually, scratch that last part.
  • Master Chief: no im acshuly tho  /  liek, srsly acshuly
  • Kylie: Oh, you're "serious actually" are you?
  • Master Chief: im srsly acshuly yeh
  • Kylie: It's very sweet, but you're not exactly my type. I'm more into guys who are higher on the evolutionary scale. You know, above bacteria.
  • Master Chief: o yea and im suposed 2 banned u lol
  • Kylie: Ban me? And how do you plan on doing that honey?
  • Master Chief: we haz ur l33t haxx  /  1337 sexxay haxx
  • Kylie: You're bluffing.
  • Master Chief: noep  /  ;)  /  im so super srs.  / >:|  /  u gots 2 >:| 2 k?  /  >:| w/ meh
  • Kylie: Who's "we" anyway?
  • Master Chief: me and arbitur
  • Kylie: Oh right, Microsoft Mike guy, of course. So assuming you're telling the truth, this "Arbiter" character is making you do this? What's his beef?
  • Master Chief: hes supir pissed off @ u gaiz 4 banning his girly friend lol  /  o and cuz ur pissing off liek teh entier w0rld t00  /  XD
  • Kylie: Hmm, I see. So you serious actually like me? huh?
  • Master Chief: yeh  /  :)
  • Kylie: Do you want to ban me?
  • Master Chief: not rly lol  /  can i plz has ur asl nao baby?
  • Kylie: I'll tell you what. I'll send you my "A," my "S," and my "L" as soon as you do something for me...
  • Master Chief: H00RAY

Master Chief jumps up and down at Kylie's seduction.


  • Master Chief: wat do?
  • Kylie: You frag your friend instead.
  • Master Chief: wat freind?
  • Kylie: Microsoft Mike!
  • Master Chief: who the flying fuck is mike and y does evrybody keeped menshining him  /  does u m33n arbitur?  /  that faggots not my friend lol give me a braek
  • Kylie: Great, so you'll do it? C'mon, you know you want to. Age, Sex, and Location, all three, yours for the taking.
  • Master Chief: no  /  :/
  • Kylie: "No?" Aww. Why not?
  • Master Chief: k lissin ima tell u k?  /  k just lissin just lissin.  /  k?  /  k h33r is teh raisin ok?  /  just lissin pls k?
  • Kylie: Okay, I'm listening.
  • Master Chief: arbitur is acshuly sort of my friend ok?  /  well not rly but kind of  /  but not acshully  /  but a little bit  /  mebbeh i dont no lol  /  in a wierd way i gess  /  but not rly
  • Kylie: Are you acting this way on purpose, because you sound so unbelievably stupid.
  • Master Chief: ther is anothar raisin tho  /  does u wants 2 h33r mai othar raisin?
  • Kylie: No that's okay, I eat raisins. I don't stick them in my ears.
  • Master Chief: ima tell u mai othar raisin k?  /  k h33r it is....  /  it is bcuz i <3 2 pleh haloz  /  it is teh best gaems evir maed.  /  and nobody r is will goign 2 be t00k away mai haloz or i will b vry vry >:(  /  and u w00d not lieked me wen im >:(
  • Kylie: Oh I'm sure I wouldn't, I hate you already.
  • Master Chief: if u taked away my halos does u noes wat i w00d does?  /  does u no?  /  does u haz n e ideas?
  • Kylie: Masturbate in eternal solitude?
  • Master Chief: i w00d be gai.... who gon t33ch u less0n
  • Kylie: (sarcastically) Oh shit, anything but that...
  • Master Chief: and believs me  /  u does not want me 2 teech u less0n.  /  ok?  /  and if i fragged arbitur it would fraged me 2 cuz we is playign on teh saem sex bocks
  • Kylie: Where did you hear that?
  • Master Chief: arbitur sed.
  • Kylie: Well Arbiter's full of shit.
  • Master Chief: k w/e but i will still not fraged arbitur.  /  never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever
  • Kylie: I'll send you nudes.
  • Master Chief: k ima go kill him bbl

Master Chief runs off and leaves the server as Kylie watches him.


  • Master Chief: U BETER HAS NUDEZ FOAR MEH
  • Kylie: I'm a woman of my word...

Scene 4: AnchorEdit

Duncan is seen again playing on the map, Anchor, this time on his own. Duncan is seen using the jetpack to flying to a higher level. As he reaches the level, he lands and stops.


  • Duncan: Damn it!


Duncan sees Kylie approaching him.


  • Duncan: I thought I made myself clear, I'm not going to be a problem for you guys okay? But I don't want any part in Clyde's plans. Just get the hell out of here!
  • Kylie: Well, I've been thinking it over and I'm not too sure if I do either.
  • Duncan: Bullshit!
  • Kylie: No really. Despite the fact that you're a gigantic hypocrite, I have decided that you may have been right about this operation being too big a risk.
  • Duncan: If you're being serious, I'm glad you started to see thing differently. What changed?
  • Kylie: What you said to me earlier stuck with me, it didn't sink in at first but I thought about it more and more, and it made look at the situation from some other perspectives, and I'm be damned if I'm gonna get convicted over a fucking video game
  • Duncan: So what are you going to do?
  • Kylie: I want to stop Clyde, and I'd like your help.


The jungle that Duncan and Kylie receive a message in their inbox is heard and they both check their messages.


  • Clyde: Kylie, Duncan, I'd like you do join my server briefly for a clan meeting. A couple of things require some discussion. It's open, I'll be waiting.


Kylie and Duncan look up at one another.


  • Kylie: You get that?

Scene 5: Condemned (Chaos Theosis's server)Edit

Clyde is seen staring at the hologram projector in Chaos Theosis's server. Duncan and Kylie come in from behind him but both stop. Duncan and Kylie look at each other and Kylie disappears into her cloaking device and slowly sneaks away towards Clyde, Duncan follows after her and enters the room Clyde is in, Clyde turns to face him.


  • Clyde: What's up?
  • Duncan: Not a whole lot.
  • Clyde: It would certainly appear that way.
  • Duncan: Not quite sure what you mean.
  • Clyde: Cut the shit. You and Adam have had your thumbs in asses ever since the last meeting you two on your periods or something?
  • Duncan: Oh c'mon Clyde, we both know Adam's still a while away from menstuation.
  • Clyde: So what's really been going on? Getting cold feet? Any funny ideas?
  • Duncan: If you mean I'm planning to report you to any authority, no I'm not. I just want out to tell you the truth. It was fine when it was only about the mods, but I don't think what you're doing is right.


Kylie is seen (still cloaked) passing besides Clyde, while Clyde and Duncan stare down at one another.


  • Clyde: So you want out?
  • Duncan: Yes.
  • Clyde: Fair enough.


Suddenly, Kylie uncloaks and kills Duncan with a melee kill before he can finish shouting, fragbanning him.


  • Duncan: WHAT THE FU--?!


Kylie and Clyde look down on Duncan's body.


  • Clyde: That's one problem out of the way.
  • Kylie: Won't this just push him further towards squealing?
  • Clyde: Not unless he wants us doing our worst with every single online account he has. I'll be sending an email his way. I've been watching your stats, keep up the good work, you've really been cleaning up. I'm glad at least one of you isn't chicken shit. At your rate alone, the network will be gone in no time.
  • Kylie: Thanks
  • Clyde: Have you seen those jackoffs with the robot voice again, since you talked to the one with special needs?
  • Kylie: Not yet, I think my sweet talking did the trick.
  • Clyde: If it has, great. but don't toy with them if they show their faces again, fuck them up.
  • Kylie: Of course.


As Kylie walks away, a final shot of Duncan's dead body is seen. Kylie is then seen leaving the server as Clyde watches her.

End credits roll.

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