|← "Collapse"||"Genesis"||"Hard End" →|
Scene 1: Jon's ApartmentEdit
Arbiter and Chief are sitting by the door to Jon's apartment. Chief is standing with a pen, next to the wall, and Arbiter is sitting down next to the opposite wall, with numerous bottles of whisky and a glass.
- Master Chief: hmmmmmmm
- Arbiter: ... What's the point?
- Master Chief: wat is u tlaking abot / wat is points of wat
- Arbiter: What's the point of anything?
- Master Chief: o 4 krysts sake not this shit agen
- Arbiter: The world isn't black and white and it isn't even shades of grey either. / It's one solid shade throughout. / Nobody's innocent.
- Master Chief: ur retarted.
Chief starts drawing on the walls.
- Master Chief: 4 startars ppls and colers are difrent things / Y DOES U COMAERED THEM / and teh wr0lds is teh coler blue / evrybody noes taht
- Arbiter: There's no lines to cross. / Only the ones we've all drawn in our heads. / And they're all over the place.
- Master Chief: THAT DOESENT EVEN MAEKS N E SENSE, SHUT UP
- Arbiter: Why do I even bother talking to you?
- Master Chief: Y DOES U BOTHER TALKING PERIED / ppl as stuped as u shud just shut up forevir
- Arbiter: I hate living here so much.
- Master Chief: o then i gots 2 show u sumthing dude
Chief points to the front door.
- Master Chief: u c taht giant squaera over they're? / TAHT IS TEH DOOR / GTFO
- Arbiter: Within five minutes of stepping outside I'd probably get run over or something.
- Master Chief: FINGERS CROSSED / LOL
- Arbiter: Or I'd freak people out and be kidnapped by scientists / Studied and dismantled.
- Master Chief: PUSSY
- Arbiter: I'm stuck here in this ridiculous plastic body / I have no control over my own life.
Scene 2: Chaos Theosis' ServerEdit
In an amateur-styled film environment, four players (2 Spartans, 1 girl Spartan, and an Elite are seen recording themselves. The Elite speaks.)
- Adam: It's fucking bullshit!
- Kylie: Settle down Adam.
- Clyde: We will not allow our enslavement to bleed into our gaming cyberspace. We are in possession a number of sophisticated hardware and software modifications undetectable by your security systems that provide us with unique abilities: Higher jump heights, Permanent Overshield, shooting through walls, to name a minor few. What is key is our ability to place an irreversible console ban on any player we frag in game, whether it be a weapon or melee kill. We will also have access to that player personal's account information, including passwords and bank card detail. We did not expect to be taken immediately into serious consideration. To correct this error, we will now give a demonstration.
Scene 3: Jon's ApartmentEdit
Scene picks up where Scene 1 left off...
- Arbiter: You know, as much of a dick Trent was, he was right about me.
- Master Chief: TELL ME ABOUT IT. I HAET U 2
- Arbiter: I mean that my life doesn't mean anything. We're toys. We're an accident. And at the end of the day we're all just on a big rock hurtling towards oblivion.
- Master Chief: dued are'nt u geting skyrims? NOT THAT IM RECOMENDING IT CUZ RPGS R 4 L00SERS BUT THOT U W00D LOL
- Arbiter: You're not even listening to me. Why don't you ever fucking listen to me? This, for example.
- Master Chief: wat
- Arbiter: How many times have I told you about this?
- Master Chief: told meh wat
- Arbiter: To stop drawing all over the goddamn walls!
It is revealed that Chief has drawn a picture of a penis on the wall.
- Master Chief: ROFL
- Arbiter: You'd better hope that washes off. What if someone sees that? What are they gonna think? They'll have Jon committed.
- Master Chief: I DONT GIVE A SHIT, THAT FAGETS NEVER H33R ANYWAY
- Arbiter: He's temporarily relocated for contract work. He'll be back eventually.
- Master Chief: AND EVENCHILLY STILL WONT CAER, LOL!one-eleven!1shift!!1 AND SINSE WHEN DO I HAS 2 LISSEN 2 U U FUCKING DRUNK
- Arbiter: You're the last person who should be criticizing people's drinking habits.
- Master Chief: LOLOLOL YEA HABIT, ITS LIEK UR FULL TIEM JOBS</span>
- Arbiter: You're a hypocrite.
- Master Chief: bitch i drink 2 party, not 2 sit around all :( f33ling sorries for myself
- Arbiter: How about you just mind you own damn buisness, okay?
- Master Chief: HOW ABOT U DRINK SUM MOAR B00ZE U ALKAHOLIC PIECE OF SHIT, LOLOLOLOLOL, no wonder claire haets u, LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
- Arbiter: Claire doesn't hate me. We just haven't talked.
- Master Chief: YES BCUZ UR A FUCKING LOSER, LMAO
- Arbiter: If I'm a loser you're twice the loser, Chief.
- Master Chief: FUCK THAT IM WINING, I GOTS TIGERS BLOOD MAN
Scene 4: The DemonstrationEdit
Back on Chaos Theosis' server, a player with the gamertag, XxX_O_SSJ-Gogeta_O_XxX, has been captured by Chaos Theosis.
- Kylie: Step a little closer, please.
The player steps a bit closer.
- XxX_O_SSJ-Gogeta_O_XxX: Here?
- Kylie: You're good.
- XxX_O_SSJ-Gogeta_O_XxX: So, are you actually a girl?
- Kylie: *sigh* Yes.
- XxX_O_SSJ-Gogeta_O_XxX: Woah, that's so cool. With like, boobs and everything?
- Kylie: I'm not going to dignify that with a groan, let alone a response.
- XxX_O_SSJ-Gogeta_O_XxX: Sorry sometimes it's just hard to tell the voices apart from prepubescent kids.
- Duncan: What, like Adam?
- Adam: Shut the fuck up Duncan! I got pubes, like a million of them!
- Duncan: Impressive.
- XxX_O_SSJ-Gogeta_O_XxX: So, do you like, play this often? You got any room on your friends list?
- Adam: You think you're gonna get a date or something, ass-wipe?
- Kylie: Let's get this over with please.
Adam walks towards XxX_O-SSJ_Gogeta_O_XxX.
- Adam: Do you currently have access to the online network? Yes or no?
- XxX_O_SSJ_Gogeta_O_XxX: What are we even doing here, anyway? What is this all about?
- Adam: Answer the fucking question.
- XxX_O_SSJ-Gogeta_O_XxX: What do you even mean?
- Adam: What do you think I mean, retard?
- XxX_O_SSJ-Gogeta_O_XxX: Like, can I sign in to the OMN?
- Adam: Yes, didn't think I had to spell it out for you. What, are you like six? You want me to draw you a picture, too?
- XxX_O_SSJ-Gogeta_O_XxX: You're the one who sounds six.
- Adam: I'm eight motherfucker! Now do you currently have access to the OMN?!
- XxX_O_SSJ-Gogeta_O_XxX: Yes, I can sign in.
At Adam's house, his mother walks into his room. They argue, and the whole argument can be heard over the microphone.
- Mrs. McIntyre: Adam, what have I told you, don't talk like that!
- Adam: Shut up, mum! I don't remember saying you could come into my fucking room! What did I say?!
- Mrs. McIntyre: Watch how you talk to me!
- Adam: Can you remind me, please?
- Mrs. McIntyre: You treat me with respect, you understand!
- Duncan: Really? Again with this?
- Adam: No! You treat me with respect, mum. How about that?! You treat me with respect, and I'll treat you with respect! Okay?!
- Mrs. McIntyre: Adam!
- Adam: Answer my question! Is that fair?!
- Kylie: Oh my god, Adam, can't that wait 'til later?
- Duncan: Yeah, wrap it up.
- Mrs. McIntyre: You are not the authority here, Adam, I am, and I do treat you with respect.
- Adam: No, you don't! You just barge in to my fucking room without knocking or anything!
- Mrs. McIntyre: You're shouting and swearing, Adam. We can all hear you from downstairs. I will not have that in this house.
- Adam: Fuck you! This is my house too and I'll do whatever I want! We're equal! Look, I'm gonna do something really important with my clan right now, and they're getting pissed off because I'm wasting time arguing with your dumb ass!
- Mrs. McIntyre: You do not insult me and we are not equal. You need to understand that!
- Adam: No! You need to understand that we ARE! And you'd better do it because I'm getting fucking tired of this constant bullshit!
- XxX_O_SSJ-Gogeta_O_XxX: Wow.
- Kylie: I can't believe what I'm hearing.
- Duncan: Every child is sacred.
- Kylie: Clearly.
- Adam: Yeah, walk away like you always walk away from everything else, bitch. And bring me back some god damn cookies!
- Kylie: Don't hold back, whatever you do.
- Adam: Huh?
- Kylie: If you were my kid, I'd wring your neck.
- Duncan: Can we get on with this?
- Adam: Yes.
Adam points his pistol at XxX_O_SSJ-Gogeta_O_XxX's head.
- Adam: Now can you just tell me your god damn gamer tag already?
- Kylie: Today, preferably.
- XxX_O_SSJ-Gogeta_O_XxX: *sigh* XxX_O, like, the letter O, _SSJ-Gogeta_, another O,_XxX. And for the X's around it, the first and third are capitalized and the middle is lowercase.
- Adam: Are you serious? What a douche!
- XxX_O_SSJ-Gogeta_O_XxX: You're a douche.
- Adam: Fuck you.
Adam shoots the player, banning him.
- Adam: Haha! Boom, headshot!
The film continues, showing Clyde and the other members of Chaos Theosis again.
Scene 5: Jon's ApartmentEdit
Scene picks up where Scene 3 left off...
- Arbiter: I wish Greg was still around. And Cortana. Hell, I'd even take Todd or Travis.
- Master Chief: k taht does it, im out
- Arbiter: Huh?
- Master Chief: i cant lissin 2 ur bitching ne moar, ITS DRIEVING ME CRAZY
- Arbiter: Oh yeah, as if I'm the intolerable one here. It's obvious you drew this garbage on the wall purely to piss me off. Clean it up.
- Master Chief: cl33n my dick, I WANA PLAY HALOS
- Arbiter: You know we're still banned. And we've played the shit out of local.
- Master Chief: ILL PLAY CHAMPAGHNE
- Arbiter: Again?
- Master Chief: well wat the hell else is their too do
The background then turns into a very light, bright hue as Chaos Theosis is walking through a map that resembles Breakpoint. The scene quickly switches back to Jon's Apartment.
- Master Chief: U WANA PLAY W/ ME OR NOT
- Arbiter: ...No.
- Master Chief: GOOD CUZ U CANT LOL
- Arbiter: I'm done with Halo.
Several Warthogs are seen exploding in the same area that Chaos Theosis was seen attacking in, the scene still contains the same bright hue. Seconds later, several destroyed Warthogs are seen, as well as the dead body of a Spartan model. The scene quickly switches back to Jon's Apartment.
- Master Chief: LOL WUT, ur doen w/ hal0?
- Arbiter: That's what I said. I've spent like, ninety-five percent of my life playing video games. It's pathetic. I'm done.
As Arbiter states the words "I'm done." Both his and Master Chief's Reach models are seen walking side-by-side through the desolate map where Chaos Theosis and the Warthog explosions occured.
Scene 6: Four Months EarlierEdit
Four moths earlier, Arbiter is seen getting out of bed after hearing a mysterious voice.
- Mysterious Voice: ...Arbiter?
- Arbiter: ...Hello? / ...Chief? / Was that you? / Did you say something? / ...Chief?
After a brief pause, with no sign of the mysterious voice, Arbiter starts to lie back down.
- Mysterious Voice: Arbiter?
- Arbiter: ...Cortana? Is that really you?
- Mysterious Voice: Yes, Arbiter! It is me!
- Arbiter: Oh my God, this is incredible!
Arbiter starts running to find her.
- Arbiter: I thought you were lost in one of the moves for good!
Arbiter hop off of Jon's bed and continues running around looking for the voice's source.
- Arbiter: Where are you?
- Mysterious Voice: Over here!
- Arbiter: Where's 'here'?
- Mysterious Voice: Here!
- Arbiter: I really thought I was gonna be stuck alone with Master Chief forever. You can't know what a relief it is that you're here. This monotone voice doesn't sell it, but I am so glad. Alright, you wanna give me a clue where I can find you? I give up.
Arbiter stops running around and looks down the hall and begins walking down it.
- Mysterious Voice: You're getting warmer, baby.
- Arbiter: ...'Baby'?
- Mysterious Voice: Arbiter?
- Arbiter: Yeah?
- Mysterious Voice: There's something I've always wanted to tell you.
- Arbiter: ...What?
- Mysterious Voice: It's kind of personal...
- Arbiter: You can tell me.
- Mysterious Voice: I just wanted to tell you...
- Arbiter: What is it?
- Mysterious Voice: I just wanted to say...
Arbiter reaches the end of the hallway as the voice is speaking, Arbiter looks around the corner and sees that the voice is coming from Jon's Laptop, with Master Chief on it's keyboard.
- Laptop: THAT UR GEY LOLOLOLOLOL SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI
- Master Chief: HAHAHAH UR SO RETARDED, LOL @ U, LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
- Arbiter: You are so fucking dead.
- Master Chief: BRING IT, 3 HITS
Master Chief gets up and prepares to fight Arbiter.
- Master Chief: GAEM OVAR, JUST TELLING U NAO, ME HITTING U U HITTING TEH FL00R AND ME SPANKING UR MOM, ROFL
- Arbiter: Aaaaaah!
Arbiter jumps at Chief and they both crash into the bathroom doorway.
- Master Chief: ow
Arbiter gets up and punched Chief in the face, knocking him into the apartment doorway.
- Master Chief: AAH! NOT THE FACE ASSHOEL
Master Chief then kicks Arbiter in the groin and runs away into the Kitchen.
- Arbiter: Ow!!
- Master Chief: LOL, U CANT CATCH MEH, LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
- Arbiter: You know I will. And when I do, you'll be history.
Arbiter gets up and chases after Chief. Chief leaps at the Oven and starts climbing up it.
- Master Chief: IM 2 FAST LOL, 2 FAST 4 U, 2 FAST 2 FURIOUS, FAST ACTION HERO, FAST OF THE MOH33KANS, FASTAR AND COMMANDAR TEH FAST SIED OF TEH WROLD
Arbiter continues to chase after Chief. At first he tries to reach for one of the knobs on the drawers of the counter but he cannot reach it. Instead he follows after Chief by climbing up the Oven.
- Master Chief: OMG ROFL UR STILL TRYING 2 CATCH MEH, STOP TRYING LOL
- Arbiter: You went too far that time, Chief.
- Master Chief: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Master Chief sees a bunch of knives next to the sink and leaps at them, knocking them down. Master Chief grabs one as Arbiter reaches the top of the stove.
- Master Chief: IF U COEMS N E CLOSAR ILL SLIEC UR ASS INTO A THOUSIND FUCKING P33CES
- Arbiter: How many times have I told you not to touch those fucking knives, Chief? Put that back right now before you hurt yourself!
- Master Chief: NO
- Arbiter: Okay, put it back before I hurt you.
- Master Chief: LOL UR NOT GONA HURT SHIT EGGSEPT UR PRIDE 1CE I B33T UR ASS 2 TEH GROUND CREAM PUFF, XD
- Arbiter: Put your money where your ass is, then. Put the knife down and we'll see.
- Master Chief: ILL PUT U DOWN HOW ABOT TAHT, DOES THAT WURKS 4 U ARBITUR? LAWL
Master Chief tries to swipe at Arbiter with the knife he is holding. Arbiter steps back and avoids being hit. Arbiter then look back and sees a frying pan and heads for it.
- Arbiter: fine. This is how you wanna fucking play this, huh? You wanna do this retro? Fine. We'll do this retro.
- Master Chief: ROFL GIVE ME A BREAK, ur a fucking pussy u cant lift that, dont even try, u mite hurts urself, LOL
After showing some signs of struggling, Arbiter manages to lift the frying pan.
- Arbiter: I'm gonna smack some goddamn sense into you!
Master Chief is in shock while holding the knife in safety. Arbiter loses balance several times while heading for Chief, leaning and falling down from holding the heavy frying pan a few times.
- Master Chief: LOLOLOLOLOL U OK THERE GRANDMA, u n33d sum halp w/ that gramdna arbitur? SIT TEH HELL DOWN B 4 U CRACK A RIB, Y DONT I THROW TEH KETTELS ON AND ILL MAEK U A NICE CUP OF TEE, HOW DOES THAT SOUND, LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Arbiter takes the frying pan and swings it at Chief, knocking him back into the wall and sending the knife he was holding into the sink.
- Master Chief: OW, OK OK U WIN ARBITUR, OK, truce, truce arbitur, k? truce k? k.
Arbiter stops and sees Chief begging him to stop from hitting him again. Arbiter calms down and sets down the frying pan.
- Master Chief: LOLOLOL JK
Master Chief then runs forward and kicks Arbiter in the groin again.
- Arbiter: Aah!! You little cunt!
- Master Chief: WHOA SHIT, AAAAH
Arbiter charges at Chief again and knocks him off the Kitchen counter. As Chief hits the floor, his arm breaks off.
- Master Chief: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, OOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, :'( [Cying Face] OMG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
- Arbiter: Oh...crap
- Master Chief: MY FUCKING ARM, HALP, OH GOD HALP MEH PLZ, AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH, OMG EVERYTHING IS GOING DARKS, I CANT C :'( [Cying Face]
As Master Chief is crying, Arbiter climbs down from the counter and to the floor.
- Arbiter: Just sit down and try to relax.</span>
- Master Chief: RELACKS, OMG ARBITUR MAI FUCKING ARM IS GOEN, :(((((((((( [Super Sad Face]
- Arbiter: You can glue it back on. Chill out.
- Master Chief: FUCK YOU
Arbiter picks up Chief's arm but stops walking as he hears Chief insult him.
- Master Chief: FUCK YOU AND UR STUPED FUCKING FACE, U R SUCH A BUTTHOEL ARBITUR, I HAET U
- Arbiter: ...You know what? I don't even know why I'm helping you. I'm done.
- Master Chief: WAT U M33N?
- Arbiter: I mean what I said. I'm fucking done.
As Arbiter is talking, he takes Chief's arm and throws it at Chief and walks away.
- Master Chief: FINE UD BETER NOT TALK TO ME ETHER ASSHOLE
- Arbiter: Don't fucking worry.
Scene 7: Jon's ApartmentEdit
The scene cuts to the present day, where Arbiter hasn't moved, and Chief is now sitting down on the chair in front of the TV.
- Master Chief: IM GONA B33T TEH WHOLE CHAMPAGNE IN ONE SERVING
- Arbiter: I'm not even gonna bother correcting that. You're so brilliantly retarded.
- Master Chief: NO U
Arbiter gets up, and hits the wall since he is drunk.
- Arbiter: Oh, man...
He walks past Chief.
- Master Chief: wat is u gona do
- Arbiter: Use the computer.
- Master Chief NO I WANA USED THE COMPUTER
Chief jumps off the chair and heads over to the computer.
- Arbiter: Fuck the fuck off! You just said you were gonna beat campaign in one go! Go do it!
Arbiter goes towards the computer as well.
- Master Chief: I CHAENGED MY MIND LOL
- Arbiter: Tough titties. Computer's mine.
- Master Chief: NOPE
- Arbiter: Yes!
- Master Chief: LOL NOPE
- Arbiter: Sorry, I guess I forgot to tell you this wasn't a negotiation. My bad. You probably only wanna search porn anyway.
- Master Chief: SO, wat the hell r u gona do on teh intertubes thats so goddamn importent
- Arbiter: News? E-mail?
- Master Chief: O YEA U GONNA EMAIL CLAIRE? U SHUD DO THAT THATS A GOOD IDEA, O W8 NEVER MIND SHE HAETS U ROFL
- Arbiter: I'd kick your ass if you didn't have it all wrong.
- Master Chief: U CODDNT KICK MY ASS N E WAY BITCH
- Arbiter: Actually I can.
Arbiter starts typing on the computer.
- Arbiter: I just keep kicking your ass so hard you block it out each time 'cause your pathetic little ego can't handle it.
- Master Chief: retard we dont even has n e waffles left
- Arbiter: ...Did you really just say that?
- Master Chief: UR DAM RITE
Arbiter looks at news on the internet.
- Arbiter: Wow... ...what the hell is this? 'TOSERS'?
Master Chief looks at the screen.
- Master Chief: wat is tosers
- Arbiter: I have no idea. Some kind of organization apparently. Game related. Sounds ridiculous, whatever it is.
Chief points at the screen.
- Master Chief: ARBITUR, L@@K
He walks right up to the screen.
- Master Chief: they're is a video.
- Arbiter: Yeah thanks Chief, I see it.
- Master Chief: PLAY IT NAO
Arbiter starts the video. The video features Allen Radcliffe, the head of the OMN.
- Allen Radcliffe: Getting tired of running into foul mouthed jerks in your online games? Not to mention no-good cheaters who simply refuse to play fair. Don't worry, the TOSERS are here to help.
In the video, a Warthog is seen driving, and it drives right in front of the view of the camera.
- Moderator #1: I'm a TOSER, and I work for you.
In the video, a Falcon is seen flying by, and it crashes into a tree.
- Moderator #2: I love being a TOSER. I can't see myself in any other profession really. Some people are just born to be TOSERS, and I'm one of them.
Another area of the TOSERS base is shown, with another TOSER shown.
- Mike Hunt: I'm a TOSER to the core, I feel like a TOSER in every single fibre of my being, you know? I'm a one hundred percent TOSER, inside and out.
As another Falcon flies over the base, Allen continues his speech.
The video shows four TOSERS moderators standing at the base.
During Allen's last line, the scene switches back to Jon's apartment.
- Arbiter: ...Wow, are you serious?
The scene changes back to one TOSER who's speaking in the video.
- Jeremy Keenen: I'm curious to see how it will be received by the community, but you know, online cheating has become a real problem lately. Same goes for offensive behavior. I think people just get too comfortable being an anonymous voice in cyberspace, well divided from any kind of physical threats, and the rules need stronger enforcement simple as that. We don't want impede gameplay, and I certainly hope we don't, but I am glad to be a part of the, and to help bring the fun back into it all.
A TOSER is seen firing an assult rifle, but then switches to a Magnum.
- Allen Radcliffe: In addition, players previously banned from the online multiplayer network may be pleased to know that their access to the service could be reinstated, to serve under the organization as a low-level moderator should they decide to volunteer their time. Please visit out website for instructions on how to apply to selection process.
The scene switches back to Jon's Apartment again.
- Arbiter: This is so stupid. Game police? Give me a fucking break. Are they for real?
- Master Chief: DUED WERE U EVIN LISSENING, THIS IS FUCKING AWESOME, WE CAN PLAY HALOS AGEN, ALL WE GOTS 2 DO IS JUST APPLY 2 B MODS, DUSNT U THINK THATS AWESOME, WE CAN BOSS PPLZ AROUND AND SHIT
- Arbiter: I don't want to boss people around! I don't like this. Doesn't seem quite right to me.
Arbiter turns and leaves.
- Master Chief: FUCK U THEN PUSSY IM DOING IT :D [Happy Face]
end credits roll.