FANDOM


← "Aces and Spaces" "Giveth and Taketh" "God's Work" →

This is the transcript for Season 4 episode, Giveth and Taketh.

Scene 1: Jon's BedroomEdit

After the opening credits roll, Master Chief is seen playing on Halo 3 ODST. Arbiter is seen getting up.


  • Arbiter: It’s almost 2011. I wonder what you’re playing. Maybe it’s what you’re playing every single other time. A drum roll, please. What is it?


Arbiter walks over to see Chief playing Halo 3 ODST.


  • Arbiter: Holy shit. It’s Halo 3. This is the biggest surprise since Jesus rose from the dead. Hey, Georgia Strait? Hold your front page. Guess what Master Chief is doing.


Arbiter pulls out Jon's Laptop and begins using it himself.


  • Arbiter: Horizons as broad as a fly’s cock.
  • Master Chief: this is the most boringest fuckign gaem evar maed.
  • Arbiter: ...What?
  • Master Chief: HALO 3 SUX NAO
  • Arbiter: ...Halo 3 sucks?
  • Master Chief: YES
  • Arbiter: That’s a bit profound coming from you. I thought it was just your favoritest game ever.


Chief gets up and walks away.


  • Master Chief: not sinse i has ben teesed with the delights of reach
  • Arbiter: Ah, I see now. Bewitched like so many.


Chief is now seen returning to the Xbox 360, carrying a hard drive.


  • Arbiter: What are you doing?
  • Master Chief: the beta’s on this drive, i tooks it out so xbox live couldnt take it off
  • Arbiter: Um...


Arbiter watches as Chief plugs the hard drive into the Xbox 360.


  • Arbiter: I’ve got some bad news for you, dude.
  • Master Chief: wut

Scene 2: Jon's DeskEdit

After learning the truth of Halo: Reach's Beta being discontinued, Chief is now seen holding Jon's Cell Phone, he is dialing 9-1-1.


  • Policeman: 911, Emergency
  • Master Chief: HELP ME, HELP ME, HELP ME, HELP ME, HELP ME--
  • Policeman: Okay, if this is a prank call, you need to hang up now, but if this is some old woman smashing her keyboard in panic, can you tell me what your emergency is? Fire? Or theft?
  • Master Chief: NO I WAS ROBBED
  • Policeman: ...Okay, that’s what theft is.
  • Master Chief: NO I WAS ROBBED
  • Policeman: Theft means robbery
  • Master Chief: NO I WAS ROBBED
  • Policeman: Okay, are you alright? Are you injured?
  • Master Chief: BROKEN HEART DUDE, MIGHT NEVAR HEAL
  • Policeman: Okay, I think this is a prank now, so please hang up now or I will dispatch the authorities.
  • Master Chief: GOOD, send them to fucking kirkland
  • Policeman: No, sir, they’d be coming for you.

Arbiter walks in and sees Chief on the phone.


  • Master Chief: wtf that makes like no sense at all
  • Arbiter: Who are you talking to?
  • Master Chief: nobody go away
  • Policeman: Excuse me?
  • Master Chief: not u, hot cakes
  • Policeman: Did you just call me hot cakes?
  • Arbiter: Who is that?
  • Master Chief: FUCK OFF
  • Policeman: Look, prank calling emergency services is a criminal offence, believe it or not, and if you don’t end this call right now I’ll have no choice but to send officers to your location.
  • Arbiter: --WOW, hey. NO.

As the policeman is talking, Arbiter realizes who Chief has called and bolts up Jon's desk and grabs the phone, both Arbiter and Chief fight over who holds the phone.


  • Arbiter: Give me that phone! Are you out of your mind?
  • Master Chief: U R NOT MAI BABBYSITTAR, WERE ON TEH SAEM LVL U PRICK, GET UR HANDS OFF TEH FUCKIGN PHOEN

After a short tussle, Arbiter wins the struggle and shoves Chief back, who hits the wall.


  • Arbiter: Hello, I’m so sorry. Please don’t dispatch anyone. I’m sorry my friend wasted your time, I assure you it won’t happen again.
  • Policeman: Oh, so you’re Microsoft Mike now. Yes, I’ve seen that Master Chief thing on YouTube too, you know.
  • Master Chief: (flailing around angrily) WEN I DWONLODED TEH BETA IT BEKAEM MAI PROPRETY, BUNGIE CANT JUTS TAEK IT BAK, TIHS IS AMURICA
  • Arbiter: Actually this is Canada. And you didn’t pay anything for it, shut up. I’m sorry. Goodbye.

As Arbiter hangs up to phone, Chief runs over and punches Arbiter in the face, knocking him over. Chief then looks down at Arbiter.


  • Master Chief: I HAET U

Scene 3: Jon's BedroomEdit

Arbiter is now seen holding his left eye while sitting at the laptop. Master Chief is seen playing Halo 3.


  • Master Chief: reach doesnt cum out 4 infinit yeers. that is all i can prosess.
  • Arbiter: Yeah. Or just over one month.
  • Master Chief: hows your eye, faggot?
  • Arbiter: I’m seriously pretty sure I hate you.


Master Chief discards the controller, gets up and faces Arbiter.


  • Master Chief: u bought that injuree upon urself
  • Arbiter: “BROUGHT” that upon myself.
  • Master Chief: yes
  • Arbiter: No! I was correcting you! God damnit!
  • Master Chief: do not push meh beeyond mai barriers agaen, arbitur. next tiem i may have 2 ues mai ninjutsu, let me tells u sumthign. u do not want 2 c me ues mai fuckign ninjutsu for teh world's sake
  • Arbiter: What are you playing now?


Master Chief is now seen carrying the case for Halo 2 towards the Xbox 360.


  • Master Chief: HALO 2 ONLINE, RELIVE SUM GLORY DAYS
  • Arbiter: Um...

End credits.

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.