|Season 1, Episode 5 (5)|
|Air date||February 22, 2008|
|Written by||Jon Graham|
|Directed by||Jon Graham|
For reasons unknown to Master Chief, Halo 3 multiplayer is exceptionally laggy and decides to give Devil May Cry 4 and Call of Duty 4 a shot, demonstrating a whole new level of suckage.
Arbiter leaves the bathroom to see Master Chief playing Devil May Cry 4. Arbiter, expresses his disbelief that Chief is playing a game that isn't Halo 3, but Chief reveals that he was unable to play Halo 3 due to lag. Arbiter notices that Chief is downloading over 700 gigabytes of pornography, and realizes that this is likely the reason for the lag. Chief however, denies it. In Devil May Cry 4, Chief is unable to defeat Berial, the second boss, and despite Arbiter's advice, angrily turns off the Xbox 360. Arbiter decides to play Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare and cancels Chief's download, much to his dismay. Arbiter tries to cheer him up by letting him play Call of Duty 4. While Chief is making a new class, he dicovers a perk called "Martyrdom". Arbiter explains the concept of martyrdom and Chief finds it "cool', but Arbiter finds it "stupid". Even with martyrdom, Chief displays poor skill at the game, and gives a bad impression to everyone on his team. Frustrated, he quits the game and starts downloading porn again.
- Main article: Martyrdom/Transcript
- 714 may be a reference to Bungie's obsession for the number 7 as the number 7 is present. Also 14 divided by 2 would equal 7.
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