|Season 8, Episode 2 (91)|
|Air date||December 15, 2015|
|Written by||Jon Graham|
|Directed by||Jon Graham|
The episode opens with PAL-9001 pitching his latest song, "Activate", to Arbiter. PAL turns around, noticing he is actually alone, and starts looking for Arbiter; they run into each other right after. Arbiter, feeling nervous, asks him what other people there are on the ship; PAL sarcastically replies "a sprawling fucking sea of ppls -- liek a zombey apocalipse" and returns to pitching "Activate".
Arbiter, PAL and Cortana return to the ship's main computer. Cortana asks PAL to stop talking about the ship's entertainment facilities and explain them why they are here. Instead, PAL starts playing "Activate"; after a while of arguing, PAL leads them reluctantly to the communications room to establish a connection with Jon, but it turns out that the Internet link is down. Instead, PAL shows them a recording of Josh Butterballs interviewing the ship's crew. After watching it, Cortana and Arbiter say that they don't remember any of that and they're just as confused as before. PAL and Cortana get into an squabble and Cortana leaves in frustration.
PAL starts playing "Activate" again; he notices he has been playing a remix version and switches to the original. Arbiter asks PAL to turn the volume down; after some arguing, Arbiter does it himself. Noticing Arbiter's nervousness, PAL decides they should take a tour of the ship.
First, they go to the room with the screen on which PAL watches pornography; PAL explains that he stores his zettabytes of porn on two floppy disks. Then they go to a storage room in which there are three big balls (one golf ball and two footballs) touching each other; PAL calls it 'teh gayest fucking r00m'. They move to the armory, in which they find a golf club and some guns. Then they enter the shooting hall, in which PAL gives the Arbiter some dubious safety instructions. Arbiter raises his gun and notices Eugene at the other end of the hall; he freezes in panic, after which Eugene quickly runs at him. Arbiter fires at Eugene violently, and Eugene disappears. PAL cheers, while Arbiter drops the gun and leaves the shooting hall.
Arbiter walks away in a random direction, PAL follows him and tells him to stop; it turns out Arbiter was just about to walk into the line of sight of guns guarding the room containing PAL's core. When they enter it, Arbiter asks PAL if brains can be broken and admits to having hallucinations of someone he doesn't quite recognise. PAL explains it away as a side-effect of Arbiter's four-year sleep. They leave the core and Arbiter follows PAL into the missile bay.
In the bay, Arbiter notices haphazardly lying carriages with missiles and freaks out. He asks PAL about their purpose, and PAL answers "2 killed allens". Arbiter points how that he is an alien, and PAL retorts "ur alrite tho". Arbiter says the missiles shouldn't be here, but PAL claims they need to defend themselves. Arbiter asks what is it that they need to defend themselves from, to which PAL responds that there are unknown threats in space that they need to be able to counter. PAL calms Arbiter by saying that the rockets have been there the whole time and nothing has gone wrong. They discuss the rockets' composition; PAL reveals the warheads contain nerve gas that 'gots sum stupid naeme -- "AVX" or sumthing' (actually meaning VX). Arbiter, still not reassured, keeps looking around after PAL leaves.
- Microsoft Sam as PAL-9001
- Microsoft Mike as The Arbiter
- Microsoft Mary as Cortana
- Jon Graham as Josh Butterballs
- Main article: Nervewreck/Transcript
VX nerve gas, and Chief's joke that nerve gas literally causes someone to become nervous, may be a reference to John Graham's other series One Life Remaining.
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