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← "Christmas Special 2011" "New Year's Special 2011" "Severance" →

TranscriptEdit

Arbiter is seen sleeping on Jon's bedChief is heard playing Halo nearby.

  • Chief:"wtf r u whining abot? shut ^[up] / i dunt caer if u gots it 1rst teh rocket lawn chair is mien-"

Arbiter wakes up and gets out of bed. Chief is seen in the game chair.

  • Chief:"- not liek i cud hurt u w/ it n e ways im 2 busy fuckign ur mothar in teh ass / hay i haz a chrissmas joaks 4 u / they call me teh nutcracker / no y? cuz i allways bust mai nutsack all ovar ur moms face hahahahalololollolololollolol"

Arbiter comes over.

  • Arbiter:"Shut up and turn that down ! I can't sleep!"

Arbiter looks at the clock. 3:43."

  • Arbiter:"Holy shit, it's three in the morning. Never mind turning that down go the fuck to bed!"
  • Chief:"maek meh"

Arbiter looks at the TV and sees that Chief is playing Halo Anniversary.

Arbiter goes to the hallway. He turns the light on and sees the closet door open and Chief's present torn open on the with the game case nearby.Arbiter turns the light off and goes back to Chief.

  • Chief:" O YA / DBL KILL GET / HOLY SHIT / I TOLD IM STILL OSSIM @ THIS GAEM /dumass"
  • Arbiter:"You really blow me away sometimes, you know that?"
  • Chief:"ur m0m blows meh away all teh tiem / its teh l33st i cud does 4 u / lol"
  • Arbiter:"You weren't supposed to open that until morning!"
  • Chief:"s0 wat? it wer just sittign ther / besieds it wer n0t from u it wer from santa"
  • Arbiter:"...Right...How is it?"
  • Chief:"its bungie dumass its ossim"
  • Arbiter:"343 Industries,Chief."
  • Chief:"no n0t w/e this 3hundred and 43 industries shit u k33p babbling about is / its bungie / B-U-N-J-E -E / bunjee"
  • Arbiter:"Have you played the campaign yet?"
  • Chief:"y teh hell wood i? who teh fuck buys gaems foar champaign moed?"
  • Arbiter:"...I'm going back to bed.Merry fucking Christmas."
  • Chief:"u 2 bitch"
  • Arbiter:"Stop shouting and don't stay up much longer."
  • Chief:"just fiev moar minits k? just fiev moar minits"

Much later Chief is seen still playing the game. He throws down the controller and gets out of the chair.

  • Chief:"ah / nyum nyum nyum / i think tahts enuff halos foar nao / its sexmas tiem!! eleven +++ one!"

Arbiter is seen walking around. Chief runs up to him.

  • Chief:"arbitur! get ovar h33r!"

Chief hugs him.

  • Chief:"merry sexmas mothar fucker"
  • Arbiter:"Actually it's New years eve. You've been playing anniversay for like a hundred and eighty fucking hours straight."

Chief lets go of him. Text appears onscreen: January 1st 2012.

  • Chief:"omg r u srsly?"
  • Arbiter:"You're lucky you're plastic or you'd be dead from deep vain thrombosis or some shit."
  • Chief:"whoopsie daisies / wer tiem go?"
  • Arbiter:"[sarcastically]Thank you for my stocking goodies by the way. Just what I wanted. You have a very sharp intuition."
  • Chief:"i no hao u <3 to be penitrated arbitur / lmao / hey does u have n e new y33rs revolushuns? liek not beign such a fagg0t all teh tiem?"
  • Arbiter:"I resolve to put up with a lot less of your bullshit this year.How about you?"
  • Chief:"2 B EVEN WAY MOAR GOODER @ HALOS THAN LAST YEER"
  • Arbiter:"How admirable. How about letting me have i little more time with the television each day?"
  • Chief:"fuck taht shit / i haz unniversity edishen nao and if santa tries 2 t00k it back ill slice his fuckign throat / praise MS / :D [happy face]"

Chief walks away. A message appears on screen: Happy new year! from Jon, arbiter an master chief.

Credits roll.The end.

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