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This is the transcript for the Season 4 episode, Out of Reach.

Scene 1: Jon's House (night)Edit

It is the 2nd of May, 2010, just before the release of the Halo: Reach Multiplayer beta and it is 8:35 in the evening. Master Chief is impatiently awaiting the release of the beta while Arbiter, also excited, is using Jon's laptop.

  • Master Chief: GO FASTAR

A couple of seconds pass, but Chief still grows impatient.

  • Master Chief: GOOOOOOOOO
  • Arbiter: You're just gonna have to be patient like everybody else.
  • Master Chief: im mastar cheef / im not liek evrybody else
  • Arbiter: I know.
  • Master Chief: I SAEVD evrybody else from fucking extinction / i shud has the FULL GAEM alredy!!1
  • Arbiter: You should have the legendary edition!
  • Master Chief: YES. / how cum u is not excite.
  • Arbiter: Just because I'm not climbing the walls, doesn't mean I'm not excited. / I think Reach looks really fun.
  • Master Chief: thats crap / U IS JUST NOT A TRU FAN
  • Arbiter: Okay, Chief.

[Beat]

  • Master Chief: arbitur, how does i maek times go fastar?/
  • Arbiter: Play a game? / Masturbate?
  • Master Chief: sumthing i HASNT tried
  • Arbiter: ...Sleep?
  • Master Chief: OUT OF TEH QUESTIUN.

[Beat]

  • Arbiter: A silly suggestion?
  • Master Chief: left a bad impression
  • Arbiter: Just mental congestion.
  • Master Chief: :( {Sad facial expression} / HAY / check ur mails / maybee u gots ur code
  • Arbiter: No. / Besides, it would be quicker to get it through ODST.

Chief looks towards Jon's copy of Halo 3: ODST, and picks it up.

  • Master Chief: WAT IS ODST
  • Arbiter: Orbital Drop Shock Trooper.
  • Master Chief: LOL / NERD
  • Arbiter: I thought YOU were supposed to be the "true fan" here.

Chief opens the case. He takes the disc out.

  • Master Chief': so @ 2 in teh mornings we put this in adn we can plae reech??
  • Arbiter: Assuming all things go according to plan. / But these things never do. / You can go ahead and try. / I'll play it later tomorrow after the shit storm is over.
  • Master Chief: WUT
  • Arbiter: Hundreds of thousands of kids are gonna log on all at once at two in the morning to play Reach. / Then they're all gonna freak out when the servers crash and complain that they're not getting something free from Bungie right when they want it. / I'd rather not be awake for the mess.
  • Master Chief: fucking CDs / how do THEY work??!1
  • Arbiter: Har har har / Memes.
  • Master Chief: SRS THO
  • Arbiter: Well, they're partly made up of a plastic layer with a spiral track of microscopic bumps that are read and decoded by the laser of a disc drive.
  • Master Chief: can u maek ur own bumps?
  • Arbiter: I'd imagine that's how disc burning works.

Arbiter turns off and closes the laptop.

  • Arbiter: Bedtime / You know what to do, right? / When the time comes, just sign in and hit "extras" or whatever on the ODST menu.
  • Master Chief: THIS SUCKS ASS / what the hell am i suposed 2 do 4 5 houers
  • Arbiter: Bitch on GameFAQS.

Arbiter goes to bed, Chief stares at the disc for a moment. He then grabs some scissors and goes back to the disc.

  • Master Chief: maeby i dusn't has 2 wait.....if i does a littel "disc burning"

[Beat]

  • Master Chief:LOL IM GONA MUTILATE THE SHIT OUTTA THIS THING

Scene 2: Jon's House (morning)Edit

In the morning, Arbiter turns on the Xbox 360 to play some Halo: Reach.

  • Arbiter: Ah, time for some Reach.

The Xbox 360 fails to read the Halo 3: ODST disc, which is already in the disc drive.

  • Arbiter: ...Weird.

Arbiter opens and closes the disc drive and the console attempts to read it again. It fails.

  • Arbiter: Oh man. / You gotta be kidding me.

Arbiter opens the disc drive, takes the disc out and looks at the back of it, which is covered in scratches. That's why the disc drive can't read it as it is too scratched to be read. Master Chief spies on Arbiter from behind the wall.

  • Arbiter: ...What the FUCK? / CHIEF! Get your retarded ass out here right now!

Knowing he's caught, Master Chief comes out from behind the wall.

  • Arbiter: You did this, didn't you?
  • Master Chief: U AUTOMATIKALY ASSUEM IT WAS MEH?!/1 / come on arbitur. / isnt that REACHing a little?!?!?/1?/1/1? / ROFL
  • Arbiter: I'm gonna shove this disc up your ass and twist it.

Arbiter chases after Chief, who is running away. The credits roll.

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