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Viewer Discretion Warning is shown. Opening credits roll.


[The scene starts with Sonic sitting in the cupboard with Arbiter, taking a deep sniff of the Sharpie.]

  • Sonic: W-What're you doing?
  • Arbiter: Shush. I'm trying to listen.
  • Sonic: Oooooh. Every time I try to listen to things, I only hear the chemical plant song. You know, DUN DUN DUNUNUNUN DUNUN DUNUN DUNUUUUN!
  • Arbiter: Shut the fuck up! They're arguing...


[The camera switches to just outside the cupboard door, where Toad, Luigi and Mario are all congregated.]

  • Toad: What's going on?
  • Luigi: M-M-Mario says he's going to have Sonic and the alien killed!
  • Toad: Woah, Mario, dude. What the hell? You never said anything about killing anybody.
  • Mario: You knew exactly what was going to happen, Toad. You're just too cowardly to question my orders. As you should be.
  • Luigi: I won't let you do this, Mario.
  • Toad: Neither will I.
  • Mario: Is that so?


[The camera changes to Toad and Luigi now standing outside the closed door of The Brofessional Gamer, obviously having been thrown out.]

  • Toad: Fuck!
  • Luigi: Mama Mia! What do we do?
  • Toad: My bong's in there!
  • Luigi: Never mind about your bong, Toad! What about Sonic and the alien?
  • Toad: We gotta find a way in.


[Chief is suddenly heard a distance away, shouting for help.]

  • Chief: halp / halp
  • Toad: Is that...?
  • Luigi: The spaceman!


[Toad and Luigi walk towards Chief, who can be seen with his foot stuck in the side of the box still.]

  • Toad: Hahaha, what the fuck?
  • Chief: halp halp plz halp


[Toad and Luigi grab Chief and pull him out of the side of the box, freeing his foot.]

  • Chief: tankz u r mi furendz / wat r u guyz doeng hear???
  • Luigi: We were kicked out too.
  • Toad: Yeah, it's some harsh bullshit.
  • Chief: du u guyz wan 2 cum ento mi houz???


[Toad and Luigi follow Chief, heading into the cardboard box.]

  • Chief: whyp ur feat
  • Toad: Suck my dick.
  • Chief: u du nawt haz 1
  • Toad: Neither do you.
  • Chief: u jus cantt sea et cuz ur sistur iz en da wai
  • Toad: Not bad, spaceman. Not bad at all.
  • Luigi: Oh, shame on you both! So indecent!
  • Toad: Lighten up dude.


[The trio sit for a moment, silence dominating the air.]

  • Toad: Oh yeah, Mario's gonna kill the Arbiter.
  • Chief: LOLWUT
  • Luigi: Oh yeah. I almost forgot. And Sonic.
  • Chief: r u actwoly fawkin seariuz???
  • Toad: Yeah dude.
  • Chief: dats...nawt goin 2 happn...
  • Toad: Aaaah, I get it. Luigi? Cuz it's from Halo 1!
  • Luigi: I've never played Halo.
  • Chief: faggut

End credits roll.

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