FANDOM


This is the transcript of the Season 3 episode, Party.

← "Company - Part 1" "Party" "Company - Part 2" →

Scene 1: Present - Jon's Living RoomEdit

After the opening credits roll a large disclaimer in bold, red letters reads:

WARNING

The following episode contains a number of potentially dangerous stunts, each of which was executed safely during production. Under no circumstances should any of these stunts be imitated by anyone.


After the first disclaimer appears, another one in white text appears shortly afterwards.


The following events take place between the 9th and 10th of April, 2009, upon the release of the Mythic Map Pack.


DAWN OF THE SECOND DAY

-30 Hours after the Mythic Map Pack release-


Afterwards, a shot of a few trees are seen, followed by Arbiter, having passed out on the Couch, surrounded by Beer cans. Arbiter then awakens and gets back up, holding his head.


  • Arbiter: Man... my head. I feel like I've just been hit by a Warthog. God dammit. I'm making lame-ass Halo puns. I must be really messed up.


Arbiter looks to his left and see the pile of Beer cans. Arbiter walks over to the pile and holds up a can to look at it.


  • Arbiter: What the hell did I do last night? This makes NO sense. Beer tastes like shit, and I don't even DRINK alcohol.


To the right of the screen, a thought balloon appears next to Arbiter, leading to a hotlink. Underneath the thought balloon is says: "Click on the thought balloon to view a flashback."

Scene 2: FLASHBACK A - Jon's Living RoomEdit

A disclaimer in white text appears before the video:


NIGHT OF THE FIRST DAY

-17 Hours after the Mythic Map Pack Release-


Arbiter is seen holding an Xbox Controller, Master Chief comes running in flailing his arms.


  • Master Chief: ARBITUR
  • Arbiter: Hey.
  • Master Chief: WAT U DOIN?
  • Arbiter: Downloading the Mythic Map Pack. You know it's out today, right?
  • Master Chief: NO SHIT FAGGOT
  • Arbiter: I must say I'm quite stoked myself, this map pack looks promising. Assembly just seems like a less sucky Midship but Sandbox and Orbital look rad. They really oughta bring back Terminal. That map was the shit.
  • Master Chief: WAT U SAE WE GIT R DRINKS ON 2 CELIBRAETS?? JON JUST BOT AN ASSLOAD OF B33R TODAE
  • Arbiter: You know I don't drink, dude. Besides, that's JON's beer.
  • Master Chief: CUM ON DONT B A PU$$Y U FAG, U NEVAR DOES ANYTHIGN FUNS, U IZ ALWAES JUS SO SRS ADN BORIGN


Arbiter turns and faces Chief while he's goading him.


  • Master Chief: SRS, BORIGN ARBITUR, LIVE A LITTEL U ASSCOCK!!1one!1eleven!1

At the end of the flashback, a hotlink back to the present reads: "Click anywhere to return to the present."

Scene 3: Present - Jon's Living RoomEdit

Back in the present, Arbiter drops the beer can and looks around. Then he notices something.


  • Arbiter: Huh?


Arbiter walks over to the object he notices: A series of internet cables with its connector all taped up and plugged into an internet modem. Arbiter unplugs the series of cables and looks at it.


  • Arbiter: What in the living fuck is THIS supposed to be?


To the right of the screen, another thought balloon appears next to Arbiter, leading to a hotlink. Underneath the thought balloon is says: "Click on the thought balloon to view a flashback."

Scene 4: FLASHBACK B - Jon's Living RoomEdit

A disclaimer in white text appears before the video:


NIGHT OF THE FIRST DAY

-18 Hours after the Mythic Map Pack Release-


Arbiter is seen holding an Xbox Controller and Master Chief sitting next to him. They are both surrounded by beer cans and are both drunk.


  • Master Chief: this fuckign map pack is taekign forevirs 2 downloed
  • Arbiter: Dude... This download is, like... going slower than... like... a slow turtle. ...That's dead. From... turtle cancer.


There is a brief pause, then Arbiter and Chief start flailing around laughing hysterically.


  • Master Chief: LOLOLOLOL TURTLE CANCER LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
  • Arbier: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
  • Master Chief: u no wat we shud do?? we shud make liek A SUPAR INTIRNET CABLE thats liek rly wide so teh intarnets can fit thru it bettars
  • Arbier: I uh... don't think that's gonna work, dude.
  • Master Chief: YES IT WIL sobrieties r just cloudign ur judjmints


Master Chief gets up and brings Arbiter another can of beer.


  • Master Chief: u just need anothr b33r

Scene 5: FLASHBACK B - Jon's KitchenEdit

Arbiter and Chief are now seen in the Kitchen. Arbtier is now seen holding a bundle of internet cables and pulls up a pair of scissors.


  • Arbiter: This is the greatest plan ever. I know this to be true.
  • Master Chief: we both do arbitur, weh both do
  • Arbiter: Fuck! What if I mess this up? Then there'll be like... no internet.
  • Master Chief: god damit giv it 2 meh u big pussy


Master Chief walks over and snatches the wires away from Arbiter. Offscreen, the scissors are heard being cut.


  • Master Chief: k nao we got 2 tape up al teh littel wiers, get sum tape


Arbiter walks out, holding a roll of masking tape.


  • Arbiter: 'Kay, hold it still.


A few seconds later, the ends of the cables are now taped up. Master Chief is holding them.


  • Master Chief: nao we just gota solder this bitch
  • Arbiter: How are we gonna do that?
  • Master Chief: LETS PUT IT IN THE TOASTER
  • Arbiter: That's a good idea.

Master Chief sticks the taped up side of the wires into the toaster's oven part, and Arbiter hits the switch to ignite it. Arbiter and Chief are now side-by-side, watching the toaster, which is offscreen.


  • Master Chief: nao we waits arbitur, we waits
  • Arbiter: What should we do while we wait for this thing to solder?

Master Chief is now seen standing next to a Jack Daniels Whiskey bottle.


  • Master Chief: no wurds nesesaries mai friend

At the end of the flashback, the hotlink back to the present reads: "Click anywhere to return to the present."

Scene 6: Present - Jon's Living RoomEdit

Back in the present, Arbiter drops the "Super Internet Cable."


  • Arbiter: Jesus Christ. I must have been wasted.


Arbiter then starts heading towards the kitchen, briefly pausing to look at a pile of Beer Cans. Just before reaching the Kitchen's entrance, Arbiter looks down and sees a pile of Whiskey Bottles by the couch.


  • Arbiter: ...This just keeps getting better and better.


To the right of the screen, another thought balloon appears next to Arbiter, leading to a hotlink. Underneath the thought balloon is says: "Click on the thought balloon to view a flashback."

Scene 7: FLASHBACK C - Jon's Living RoomEdit

A disclaimer in white text appears before the video:

NIGHT OF THE FIRST DAY

-19 Hours after the Mythic Map Pack Release-

Arbiter and Chief are now seen playing Halo 3, surrounded by several empty beer cans and whiskey bottles.

  • Arbiter: I can't believe our super internet cable worked.
  • Master Chief: yeh but its still slow as fuck, weh need 2 suparchaerg teh modem arbitur, u get a bunch of batturez, ill get sum coppar wiers
  • Arbiter: Okay.

Some time has passed and now the cord to the outlet that's plugged into Jon's modem has 14 AA batteries taped to it with masking tape. Taped within the batteries is another cable leading a different outlet, which is being carried by Arbiter.

  • Master Chief: stick taht in teh outlet ovar thar
  • Arbiter: I don't know if we should be plugging one appliance into two outlets. Isn't that, like... dangerous?
  • Master Chief: DOUBEL TEH POWERZ MEENS DOUBAL TEH INTIRNETZ, for teh mythic map pak, im wiling 2 taek a chanse, r u arbitur?? or r u not a tru bungie fan after all???/

After being reassued by Chief, Arbiter takes the copper-tied battery plugin and plugs it into the outlet. The toys are again seen together on Jon's couch.

  • Arbiter: I can't believe supercharging the modem worked TOO.
  • Master Chief: C, i tolds u
  • Arbiter: We should be, like... robot designer guys or something.

*as the toys are now exploring on the map, Sandbox, another player (in Monitor form) is seen exploring too*

  • Xbox Live Kid: Where's the Sandbox Skull? I've looked everywhere and I can't find it!

*suddenly, another Monitor appears (Arbiter and Chief's) wielding a Killball and destroys the player's monitor*

  • Xbox Live Kid: DON'T--
  • Master Chief: lolololololololololololololololololololol
  • Arbiter: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
  • Xbox Live Kid: --Stop killing me! I'm looking for the Sandbox skull! You guys, seriously!
  • Arbiter: Okay, my turn.

*Arbiter grabs the controller as the Xbox Live Kid respawns and resumes searching for the skull*

  • Xbox Live Kid: *sigh* Where is it?

*Arbiter's and Chief's monitor once again returns and hurls a Killball; destroying the player's monitor. Including theirs in the process*

  • Xbox Live Kid: GOD DAMNIT--
  • Master Chief: lolololololololololololololololololololol
  • Arbiter: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
  • Xbox Live Kid: --Stop killing me! I mean it!!! MOOOOOM!!!! THEY WON'T STOP KILLING ME!!!!
  • Arbiter: ...Shit. I think my buzz is wearing off. I need more whisky.
  • Master Chief: I HAS A BETAR IDEA

Just as Chief is about to go through with his idea, the flashback ends, and the hotlink back to the present reads: "Click anywhere to return to the present."

Scene 8: Present - Jon's KitchenEdit

Arbiter then turns to the Kitchen.


  • Arbiter: ...Oh boy.


Arbiter is now in the Kitchen as he is seen climbing up to the top of the Kitchen's counter.


  • Arbiter: Chief, where the hell are you?


Arbiter then looks down to see a bag of Lucky Charms and some of the cereal has been dumped out on the counter. Along with them is a rolled-up tissue that resembles a cigarette or cigar. To the left of the screen, another thought balloon appears next to Arbiter, leading to a hotlink. Underneath the thought balloon is says: "Click on the thought balloon to view a flashback."

Scene 9: FLASHBACK D - Jon's Kitchen/Living Room Edit

A disclaimer in white text appears before the video:


NIGHT OF THE FIRST DAY

-20 Hours after the Mythic Map Pack Release-


Arbiter and Chief are now seen in the Kitchen. Master Chief is seen taking out a bag of Lucky Charms cereal and is pouring them onto an unrolled tissue.


  • Arbiter: I don't think you can smoke cereal.
  • Master Chief: YES U CAN / I HERD IT SUMWHAR
  • Arbiter: No you didn't.
  • Master Chief: SO??
  • Arbiter: Good point.
  • Master Chief: I GOTA ASPLOED TEH CEREAL / PASS MEH JONS SHOE


After Chief rolls up the tissue with cereal inside of it, Arbiter grabs one of Jon's sneakers and give it to Chief. Chief then proceeds to mash the cereal inside the tissue, grinding it up.


  • Master Chief: LOL
  • Arbiter: I don't remember hearing about cereal having any hallucinogenic properties.
  • Master Chief: STFU QUINCY ADN HALP MEH LITE THIS SHIT UP


Arbiter then grabs a lighter and lights it up in front of the tissue that Chief is holding, revealing that Chief was intending to use his creation as Marijuana. After "smoking" the tissue, Chief gets up and flails around.


  • Master Chief: O MAN / IM SO HIIIIIIIGH / CUM ON ARBITUR / LETS GO SWIMING
  • Arbiter: Man, I'm getting tired.


Master Chief runs off in the other direction flailing wildly as Arbiter watches on. Arbiter however become drowsy from the excessive drinking and wanders back into the Living Room. As all the events are going on. The excessive power from supercharging the internet begins to overload. Finally just as Arbiter reaches the couch he passes out and the power to Jon's room goes out, darkening the entire room.


  • Master Chief: HOLY FUCK THE HOUSE JUST EXPLODED


The flashback ends, and the hotlink back to the present reads: "Click anywhere to return to the present."

Scene 10: Present - Jon's KitchenEdit

As the thought bubble disappears, Arbiter remembers what happened to Chief.


  • Arbiter: The bathroom! Chief!


Arbiter runs off to the bathroom to look for Chief.

Scene 11: Present - Jon's BathroomEdit

Upon reaching the bathroom, Arbiter looks around for Chief. He pulls the shower curtain open and finds that out the bathtub is empty. Arbiter then turns to face the Toilet and peers to look inside of it.


  • Arbiter: Hey Chief.
  • Master Chief: HEY BRO / LAST NITE WUZ SO WIN
  • Arbiter: You probably should've gone swimming in the bath instead. ...That's a pretty big turd in there.
  • Master Chief: yeh


End Credits

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.