|← "Horsin' Around"||"Rustled"||"The True Fan" →|
Arbiter is seen sitting in the window sill with several empty liquor bottles,clearly in a depression. Chief arrives wearing his suit.
- Chief:"u'ed bettar lay off on those booze bitch / if u finesh them agen imma smash evry all of those bottels ovar ur fucking head and stuff all teh shards up ur cock"
- Arbiter:"I had quite a nice day yesterday...I was content"
- Chief:"srsly, dammit im slipping / i haz to step up mai gaems / step up to the streets / lol"
- Arbiter:"Today absolutely nothing has changed...but somehow I just feel like such a piece of shit."
- Chief:"Its k arbitur / thats cuz u is a piece of shit / so wut teh hell r u so ass pained about this tiems u m00dy cunt?"
- Arbiter:"Nothing in particular other than the general knowledge that our bodies are slowly falling apart and we're all going to die someday. Perhaps painfully."
- Chief:"sum a lot sooner than othars if u dont shut teh hell up about it / and u can counted on it beign painfull / liefs a bitch bro / so quit being such a gaping vagina and get teh fuck ovar it"
- Arbiter:"All it takes is for one small negative thought to worm it's way into my mind,then my entire day is fucked. It's like whenever I'm happy I'm obliviously walking a tightrope above a chasm."
- Chief:"ur mom and i fucked all day when i wormed mai way into her chasm and i wuz pretty fucking happy then LOLLOLLOLLLLOLOLO"
- Arbiter:"If I'm not allowed to know why I'm here I'd at least like to know why the fuck my psyche is so fragile."
- Chief:"cuz ur a pu$$y / ther"
- Arbiter:"Or there's always the strong possibility that I'm dead and have been sent to hell already, that would sure explain an awful lot."
- Chief:" ur wrong bro / this is hevan / wer else could we sit around on our a$$ess all day evry day and pleh the gratest video gaem evar crafted by human kinds huh?"
Chief starts hugging Reach.
- Chief:"<33333 / u and meh baybay / this gaem is acshuly pretty well maed if u srsly think about it / liek acshuly"
- Arbiter:"Like actually?"
- Arbiter:"Did you know that there's like actually a new Halo 4 trailer out today?"
Chief starts stomping on Reach.
- Chief:"fuck this retarted piece of shit gaem / it's worse than fucking cansir / wut wer bunjee thinking? they wer obliviously smoeking lots of drugs when they while they wer maeking it / halo 4 is teh shit / mai shit rite ther / does u know its being maed by 3 hundrid and forty 3 inustries? mebbeh one of them will get it rite this tiems"
Chief starts watching the trailer on the computer as he pushes money at screen.
- Chief:"TAKE IT ALL / just take mai monnies"
- Arbiter:"Jon's money."
- Chief:"thats wut i sed arbitur taek teh dicks out of ur ears"
- Arbiter:"I will when you take that ridiculous fucking suit off, how about that?"
- Chief:"nevar / just take mai fucking monies u sons of bitches take it all / wut u dont liek monies? r u fucking retarted or sumthing? dammit y dont they put teh fucking gaem out alredy? looks gud enuff 2 meh"
- Arbiter:"Looks good enough to you does it? I'll call Microsoft right away, don't you worry, we'll get this straightened out."
- Chief:"It's 2 thousinds and twelve i dont think it's to much to axe not to haz to wait foar stuff any moar"
- Arbiter:"Ridiculous isn't it? When will the world get it's shit together and stop to cater to your every whim?"
- Chief:"I dont noes but its sure taeking its sw33t ass mother fucking tiems"
Arbiter gets up and heads for the kitchen.
- Arbiter:"I need more beer."
- Chief:"get a$$ fucked u've had enuff teh rest of teh beers is mien!"
- Arbiter:"Oh really? There must have been an accident at the factory cause I didn't see your name on them anywhere."
- Chief:"Fuck u im pissed and i needed it / Im halo 4 is a reel mans gaem and having to wait foar it is a reel mans problems that needs a reel mans drinks / beers foar problems not this b00 h00 wer all gon died horseshit"
They stop on the counter and are briefly mesmerized by the smiling gorilla on a cereal box.
- Arbiter:"You know something...I can't quite explain it... but now I'm absolutely positive that every thing is gonna be okay."
- Chief:"i think ur rite arbitur / aaah these clothes feel so.. constricting / i gots to be free / i gots to"
Chief gets his clothes off and dances.
- Chief:"Fuck u clothes / yah baby / :D[happy face]"
Credits Roll. The End.
Chief knocks over Reach and then starts stomping on it.