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TranscriptEdit

Opening credits roll.

Arbiter and Chief are seen sitting in the hallway.

  • Chief:"o hai ppls / welcum back 2 hypermails"
  • Arbiter:"Morning, folks. Welcome back. We've got quite a lot of Hypermail from "the family" again... Just kidding."
  • Chief:"o u / arbitur ur so fucking silly u silly billy"
  • Arbiter:"I know we went a little overkill with those last episode. Let's look at some of the more interesting ones, yeah? This one's from Josh. " Dear Arbiter and Chief. I know it's a show but who is working the camera angles? Both of you are in front of the camera so who is technically moving it?" Glad you know this is a show, Josh. I'd be a little concerned. I suppose Jon and Greg's absence does beg your question, doesn't it? It's operated by a very complicated system of levers and pullies. That's all. A very, very complicated system of levers and pullies. It's so complicated that I can't even explain it to you. That's how complicated it is."

Chief points past the screen.

  • Chief:"wth is u talking abot? jons rite fuckign thier"

Chief waves at Jon.

  • Chief:"sup jon / u still hasing lots of fun playing w/ ur toys u fucking fagget? hao old r u twenty fiev? lolololol jeesus christ kill urself pls / does u even has a grill friend? u can haz 1 of mien if u want / wats it liek being a pethetik piece of shit loser?"
  • Arbiter:"I love that book. You wrote it didn't you? Very insightful."
  • Chief:"no u"

Jon's hand comes into frame and gives Chief the middle fingure.

  • Arbiter:"He's twenty three by the way. But I guess that doesn't help his position too much."
  • Chief:"this mails is frum anothar josh / " Dear Chief, I dare you go without saying a mom joke for an entire episode. Good luck LOL"
  • Arbiter:"You ask too much, Josh."
  • Chief:"fuck u tahts so easy / liek ur mom lol"
  • Arbiter:"Two seconds. I'm actually impressed, dude. Good job."
  • Chief:"fuck w8 / ok startign nao k? k? k arbitur? k?"
  • Arbiter:"Yeah, we'll see. This one's from Shoe."
  • Chief:"shoe? wtf?"
  • Arbiter:"Dear Arbiter,What are your all time favorite games and favorite gaming genre overall?"
  • Chief:"well shoe mai most favorite gaems evir r-"
  • Arbiter:"He asked me, Chief. Not you."
  • Chief:"w3ll who gives a shit abot wut ur favorite gaems r? ull probably just list a bunch of stupid babbeh hipster gaems zelda and sonic teh fucking hedgefag"
  • Arbiter:" My favorite genre is probably adventure. Here are my favorite games."

A list of Arbiter's ten favorites is shown:

1. Legend of Zelda: Ocairina of Time ( N64)

2. Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask (N64)

3. Sonic 3 and Knuckles (Sega Genesis)

4. Resident Evil [Remake] (Gamecube)

5. Castlevania: Symphony of Night (PSX)

6. Sonic CD  (Sega CD)

7. Perfect Dark (N64)

8. Goldeneye (N64)

9. Sonic 2 (Sega Genesis)

10. Resident Evil 4 (Gamecube)

  • Chief:"omg wut a surprise im so surprise rite nao"
  • Arbiter:"Keep in mind these are just out of the one's I've played. I'm sure I'm missing out on a lot of the gems."
  • Chief:"god sum1 plz tell meh wtfs so grate about zelda? all u do is run around swinging ur sword / saem w/ sonic all u do is run around collecting cheerios"
  • Arbiter:"You can boil any game down to its essentials like that moron Halo included."
  • Chief:"fuck u halo is ossim possim"
  • Arbiter:"I'm not saying Halo isn't awesome I'm calling attention to your fucking fallacy in logic. But screw it, let's see your favorite games. Reach is probably at the top isn't it?"
  • Chief:"NOPE"
  • Arbiter:"No? Really? Interesting."

A list of Chiefs favorites is shown:

1. Halo 6 (Xbox 360)

2. Halo 5 (Xbox 360)

3. Halo 4 (Xbox 360)

4. Halo Combat Evolved Anniversary (Xbox 360)

5. Halo: Reach (Xbox 360)

6. Halo 3: ODST (Xbox 360)

7. Halo 3 (Xbox 360)

8. Halo Wars (Xbox 360)

9. Halo 2 (Xbox)

10. Halo Combat Evolved (Xbox)

  • Arbiter:"For fucks sake. Tell me you're taking the piss."
  • Chief:"this shit isn't ^[up] foar debaet this is teh offishal list of bestest gaems evar / d33l w/ it bitch"
  • Arbiter:"How do YOU deal with it? Those are all good games but you have no fucking scope, man."
  • Chief:"n0 thers sum left ur mom left a little in teh bottel after she sucked mai dick"
  • Arbiter:"Just under a minute."
  • Chief:"FUCK!"
  • Arbiter:"Good try, Chief."
  • Chief:":( [sad face] / this mails is from samus aran / " Dear Chief. Would you have sex with me please? You're so horny." no thx dued i dont fuck gaiz"
  • Arbiter:"For future reference, Samus. Whether Chief is horny or not shouldn't be the deciding factor. This one is from Incisim. " This is for both of you. What are your favorite movies?" 2001."
  • Chief:"humen sent pede / and this last mails is frum johnny / " To both of you. Dance please."

The two look at and proceed to dance.

  • Arbiter:"That's all the time we have this week, folks. If you have any thoughts you wish to have read on the show please send them to arbyandchief @gmail.com. See you next time!"
  • Chief:"lol u fucking suck dick @ dancing just liek everything else"
  • Arbiter:"Like you're any better."
  • Chief:"u cant touch this"

Credits roll. The end.

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