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TranscriptEdit

Scene 1: RidgelineEdit

The map is shown to be empty. Onscreen text: six weeks later. A player is seen waiting in the middle of the map.An in- game moderator walks up to him.

  • XBL player:"We're holding it here."

The moderator nods and looks around.

  • Moderator:"We'll create a combat- restricted gametype. Throw down some walls and spawn points to guide players down a secure entry point. I'll set up a checkpoint with some shooters and scatter more of my guys throughout the map."

The moderator looks at the player.

  • Moderator:"Not to undermine the gravity of your friend's passing, but you do realize that this is a terrible idea."
  • XBL player:"You need to have more faith in people, man."

Scene 2: Jon's ApartmentEdit

Arbiter is seen on a stack of games in the bathroom. He looks in the mirror while he tapes his other hand.Arbiter then takes of his helmet and puts more glue in it.Chief is seen.

  • Chief:"eezy on teh gloo arbitur / u w00dn't want it 2 look liek a goddamn whale busted in ur helmet agen, rite?"
  • Arbiter:"Fuck off."
  • Chief:"lolololololololololololololololololololololol"

Chief runs off.Arbiter takes some pills and washes them down with a shot of liquor.

Scene 3: High NoonEdit

Eugene meets Arbiter and Chief in the middle of the map.

  • Eugene:"Good evening."
  • Chief:"alrite alredy, hao abot u stop b33ting off abot arbiturs moms bush and tells us wtf u haz us m33ting h33r 4 when we cud be surfing teh match makings and cappin mo bitchez / pop pop pop watchin muthar fuckerz drop"
  • Eugene:"An online, in-game memorial service. How's That for direct?"
  • Chief:"cum agen? [To Arbiter] tahts wut ur m0m sed"
  • Arbiter:"You can't do that off of your own fucking line."
  • Chief:"lollolololollololololloolollololololol"
  • Eugene:"An iminant memorial service, online, in this game for some team-gamer asswipe who just croaked for real. I overheard a couple of our clan members talkin' about it. I looked into it. I kid you not, this is actually happening."

Chief walks to the center of the platform and looks up at the sky.

  • Chief:"this r teh singel greatest things tahts evar happ3ned in teh history of teh universe"
  • Arbiter:"[sarcastically] That's the way Chief, maintain low expectations and you'll never be disappointed."
  • Chief:"OOUR GOD IS AN OOOOOOOSSSIM POOOOOOSSSIM GOD!"
  • Eugene:"Entrance is by invitation only and I've heard a portion of it's players will be acting as security. As you know fragban renders both of these factors non-issues."
  • Arbiter:"What's the plan?"

Chief looks at Arbiter.

  • Chief:"SLOOOOOOWPOOOOOKE"
  • Eugene:"Isn't it obvious? We're going to pay respects that are perfectly appropriate."
  • Chief:"lol, and wat u m33n by "appropriate"? wut u did they're / i s33n it / it could g0 either ways / get it arbiter?"
  • Arbiter:"Thanks, Chief."

Scene 4:Jon's ApartmentEdit

Chief is heard digging around in the cupboard.

  • Chief:"u f33l uneasy abot it? wtf is ther 2 feel uneasy about? i doesnt knew taht feel / y f33l uneasy abot it? stop being such a fuckign pansy"

Arbiter is seen on the floor holding a frying pan.Chief climbs out of the cupboard with a glass.

  • Chief:"ooh / :D[happy face] / this 1 looks liek its got lots of expensives"
  • Arbiter:"Then waddle your decrepit ass down here and throw it my way."

Chief jumps into the floor and sets the glass down. He looks at the frying pan.

  • Chief:"u b trolling? taht thing is phucking tiny i cud lifted taht w/ mai boner / u haz lift3d a wae bigger 1 than taht B4 / ur rly waesting away isnt u? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA ur dying / LOL / LOL @ U"
  • Arbiter:"Laugh it up, Asstar. At least I don't look like i just came back from a drunken night on planet danger."

Arbiter taps the pan on the ground and prepares to swing.

  • Arbiter:"You gonna throw the fucking glass or not?"

Chief throws the glass. Arbiter hits it and it shatters against the opposite wall.

  • Chief:"LMAO"
  • Arbiter:"Man, that was so much louder than I thought it would be."

Arbiter sets down the pan.

  • Arbiter:"Crashing that service differs from the other shit we've been doing in that, at the center of it, someone has actually died."

Chief puts a hand on Arbiters shoulder.

  • Chief:"and? [ beat] u'd better listen ^[up] cuz im only gonna sez this as many tiems as it taeks / taht service is 1 giant pussy just aching to get fucked / we cant lett pussy taht fien goes 2 waest"

Chief glances at the table. He doesn't see Cortana. Chief goes to a cupboard and starts rummaging around.

  • Chief:"if they gaev 2 fucks abot taht dead kid shouldnt they get up off ther asses and does an acshual thingy foar him in liek a church or sum shit? we haz 2 show ppls taht halos isn't 4 weddings, funerals, birthday parties, circumsisions or n e othir of taht kind of bullshit / its a goddamn war baybay / if u doesnt liek it get otu"
  • Arbiter:"Still I need a break from the television. My sight is all fucked up from staring at it. Everything's out of focus. How do you prepose we spend the rest of our evening?"
  • Chief:"jon restocks teh apartment and u srsly axe taht?"

Chief drags out a liquor bottle.

  • Chief:"imma tells u exactly wut wer gonna does"

Cut to Arbiter sitting on the edge of the toilet and vomiting into it.Chief sits on the edge across from him.

  • Chief:"LOLOLOL / ur puking / did u knew taht?"
  • Arbiter:"I had a hunch. Ugh. Goddamn it."
  • Chief:"goddamn arbitur / y cant u hold all them liquors? we barely got start3d u fucking pu$$y / ur no boy scouts, y cant drinked n e moar?"
  • Arbiter:"Likely another symptom of my detioration. Open the door, will you?"
  • Chief:"wat does i looked liek, ur slaves? eat a dick / y?"
  • Arbiter:"My nausia will spike when the fresh air hits me. I'll vomit again and feel better faster. Just fucking open it please."
  • Chief:"fien"

Chief goes to the bathroom door.

  • Arbiter:"I wish I had the slightest clue as to how my insides fuction."

Chief opens the door.

  • Arbiter:"Oh god-"

Arbiter vomits again.Chief returns to the toilet.

  • Chief:"does u felt better nao? u want meh to burped u 2?"
  • Arbiter:"I'm a hell of a stretch from good but I feel better.[beat] I just can't get Cortana and Greg out of my head lately. I wonder where they each ended up. As long as they're alright but I'm glad for them. It sure beats us flushing our lives and watching them spin down the drain by staying here."

Chief puts his hand on Arbiters shoulder.

  • Chief:"stop beign such a homo,k? ther gone / dealt w/ it / k? k. / im sure they is in a way much better places nao"

Scene 5: BoneyardEdit

Brody and Kyle are seen walking across the map.

  • Kyle:"I can't believe I took a nap and woke up to find that we were still in the lobby. It's taking fucking forever to find people to play with these days."
  • Brody:"Yeah, everybody's refusing to play for fear of being banned."
  • Kyle:"Is that still happening?"
  • Brody:"It is. Nobody knows who's doing it or why and there hasn't been a firmware patch yet. I wish I understood these hacker assholes. I could never possibly get joy out of bricking peoples consoles. I don't think my consciense could handle bricking one."
  • Kyle:"On another subject ,and not to piss on your parade, I think we've spent long enough of our lives trying to figure out what Tylers software is for and we have come an inch closer. I fail to see what having the drive in your console will accomplish."
  • Brody:"I don't know either but it's the only thing I haven't tried."

A player sprints over and Brody kills him with his DMR.

  • Brody:"[chuckles] According to my display that dude just quit. Right as I killed him. Talk about a sore loser."

Another player goes by and Brody kills him.

  • Kyle:"...Did that guy just quit too?"
  • Brody:"...Oh shit."

Credits roll. The end.

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