Arby 'n' the Chief Wiki
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Viewing Discretion Warning is shown. Opening credits roll.


[The scene starts with Luigi, Toad and Mario all standing together on the otherside of the turntable to Arbiter. Mario has just finished some linguini.]

  • Mario: Ah! That was some good linguini!
  • Arbiter: Would've been nice if we had some too.
  • Toad: Yeah really.
  • Mario: Get your own.
  • Arbiter: ...So what's the deal? Can my friend and I chill here for a while?
  • Mario: I don't like you. But... you're smart. You've go it up here. (Mario taps his head.)
  • Arbiter: As opposed to anywhere else.
  • Mario: Pushin' your luck, beast. You can stay.
  • Arbiter: ...Cool.
  • Mario: YOU can stay. Your friend? He must go.
  • Luigi: Mario, Mama Mia! Don't be so heartless.
  • Mario: I will NOT have a Master Chief in my home!


[The scene changes to Arbiter and Toad sitting next to each other on one couch, whilst Luigi stands on another couch. All three are talking to each other.]

  • Arbiter: I can't sell my friend for a place to stay.
  • Toad: He didn't seem like much of a friend.
  • Luigi: He's right, Toad. I could never betray a friend. It would be like undercooking a fantastic spaghetti dish!
  • Arbiter: Does he always have to do that?
  • Toad: It's a culture thing, don't make a fuss. He'll just get all worked up. Do you think your friend would sell you to stay here if he were given a choice?
  • Arbiter: I don't think so. ...Wait a minute, what the hell am I talking about? Yes, he would.
  • Toad: He struck me as the type.
  • Luigi: Mama Mia! You can't betray a friend like that!
  • Toad: He's not even his friend, Luigi, go be a moral fag somewhere else, will ya?
  • Luigi: G-g-g-g-g-g-gladly.


[Toad and Luigi look at each other, as Luigi has walked off.]

  • Toad: You wanna smoke a bowl?


[The scene changes to Sonic playing Sonic on the Xbox. The sound of rings being collected can be heard in the background. Chief is looking for Halo 3 at this point in time.]

  • Chief: fuk wear teh h311 iz gaym
  • Sonic: Wh-Wha-What are you looking for, dude?
  • Chief: hal- / (Chief changes what he was about to say.) gumm du u gawtz sum gumm
  • Sonic: No.
  • Chief: :( / y u no gawtz n e gumm / u schud reeli haz gumm lawtz o gumm


[The scene cuts to Arbiter and Toad on the stairs.]

  • Toad: (Coughing) You should totally take Mario's offer, dude.
  • Arbiter: Chief would definitely deserve it. He's such a fuck. But I don't know if I could live with making a decision like that.
  • Toad: Fuck him, I think he'd probably do the same thing right back if he had the chance.
  • Arbiter: He would.
  • Toad: There you go. (Coughing) Dude, we're sitting on the stairs! Stairs are for walking! We shouldn't be sitting here! Ehahahaha!


[The scene changes back to Sonic still playing Sonic as Chief continues to look for Halo 3. He knocks the Rogue Warrior cover off of Tony Hawk: RIDE's cover. He opens Tony Hawk: RIDE and find Halo 3 hidden inside.]

  • Chief: nok nok / hooz @ dawr / hapynez?!11? / he110 hapynez / wut a serpriz
  • Sonic: What's going on?
  • Chief: nuthen


[The scene ends with Chief staring at the print on the Halo 3 game disk, as Sonic continues playing with himself in the background.]


End credits roll.

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