The Storm/Transcript

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Scene 1: Highlands (TOSERS server)[]

Master Chief and the Arbiter are seen walking through a crevise, the two had just been fired by Leonard from the TOSERS.

Chief: u no wat? / FUCK EM / im akshuly :D we can just pleh reguler hal0s nao / that tosers shit was fucking gay / i didnt gets 2 ban 1 singel fucking gai / not 1 arbitur
Arbiter: Get it through your head. There's no more Halo for us, period. And it's all thanks to you. Congratulations, dipshit.
Chief: LOLWUT / BUT WAT ABOUT WAT THAT GAI SED THO / THAT GAI SEZ WE CUD THO
Arbiter: He rhetorically asked you what you thought under the false impression that you actually have a fucking brain never mind the ability to think.
Chief: i think ur retarted
Arbiter: Along with everybody else who's even remotely smarter than you are. In this case, 'everybody else' equals 'everybody'. What scenario do you honestly believe is more likely, that everybody in the universe except you is mentally defective or that you alone are simply a moron?
Chief: everybodys a mentil detecktive / obliviously
Arbiter: 'Obliviously'. Couldn't agree more.
Chief: so were fucking banned agen is that srsly wat ur telling meh?
Arbiter: Yes.
Chief: [jumping up and down in anger] GOD DAMMIT THIS IS SO FUCKING LAEM ALL I WANNA DO IS PLEH HALOS IS THAT 2 FUCKING MUCH 2 AXE / IS IT? / IS IT A LOT 2 AXE ARBITUR? / I DUSNT WANTS 2 B B& N E MOAR
Arbiter: Again, the 'no brain' thing. If you had one, you might have had the foresight to see this coming.
Chief: UR MOM SAW ME COMING

Stephen is seen approaching the pair.

Stephen: Hey what's up guys? A lot of F-bombs being dropped over here, what's the problem?
Chief: UR FUCKING FACE
Stephen: Easy tiger, what's wrong with my face?
Arbiter: We were let go. More specifically, Chief was let go and I'm getting dragged down with him. Tempers are high. Can't say the same for his IQ.
Stephen: You're let go? Man, I'm-I'm sorry to hear that. Not so much for you. [referring to Chief] I-I don't get it. You must've been given plenty of warnings, why couldn't you just behave dude?
Chief: suck my balls
Arbiter: What's going on with you?
Stephen: Well, I've just been bumped to Level 3 actually. I'm basically an Administrator.
Arbiter: Wow, no kidding?
Stephen: Not to come off as a jerk or anything
Arbiter: Of course not, that's cool, man. Congratulations.
Stephen: Thanks
Chief: wow ur so fucking c00l
Stephen: Well I ought to get going. It's a shame it didn't work out for you, really. You'd have been an asset.
Arbiter:: Shit happens.
Stephen: Pity you can't stop it spewing from your friend's mouth.
Arbiter: Yeah. Anyway, don't let us keep you.
Stephen: Good luck in your future endeavors.
Arbiter: You too. Peace.
Chief: BETTER HURRY B4 UR DAD GOES SOFT / HE DUSNT LIEK 2 B KEPT WAIETING YUNG MAN

As he is walking away from the two, Stephen briefly stops upon hearing Chief's insult for a few seconds before resuming walking away.

Arbiter: You're unbelievable.
Chief: fucking hell gess its just gona b u and me agen arbitur / u and me 4 evir and evir and evir and evir and evir and evir and evir and evir and evir and evir

Chief resumes walking in the direction to leave the TOSERS organization. Unwilling to be left alone with Chief again, Arbiter lowers his head in guilt before turning in the opposite direction that Chief's going. Chief stops and notices Arbiter's not with him.

Chief: ARBITUR WHERE U GO?

Arbiter heads back to the room where Leonard fired him and Chief in. Leonard turns to see him and groans in annoyance before turning to face his computer again.

Arbiter: Sorry. Like I said, I respect your decision to boot us and it was obviously justified, but I have a proposal.
Leonard: [turns to see Arbiter again] And uh, what's that?
Arbiter: I was talking to one of your level threes earlier. Silent Strike. He was our first supervisor. He mentioned you're sending moderators under cover into the system link tunneling networks in an effort to locate the hacks being used by Chaos Theosis. Keep us on the force and let us do that.

Leonard approaches Arbiter.

Leonard: No.
Arbiter: Why not?
Leonard: I'm not obligated to explain myself to you.
Arbiter: I know that, but what do you have to lose?
Leonard: I'm not going to have you and your Neanderthal friend running around the VPNs with Moderator Privileges unmonitored. I don't care if it's outside the main network, you're still in a position to cause damage to the organization like you've been doing.
Arbiter: I won't let Chief cause any more problems for you.
Leonard: You've said that before.
Arbiter: I won't. Not this time. And it would be in your interest to send us in, we've had experience dealing with hackers in the past.
Leonard: ...In what capacity?
Arbiter: Are you aware of the Donnovich wedding crash a few months back?
Leonard: I remember skimming an article about it. The guys that crashed it apparently used older versions of the hacks we were looking for.
Arbiter: That was us.
Leonard: ...YOU crashed it?!
Arbiter: Yeah. I know it sounds really bad, but I was well intentioned. We found out Trent Donnovich was having an affair and he tried to shut us up. The bride was my friend. Those hacks were our only means of getting through to her. That's why we were banned before we came here, and I was prepared to accept that consequence. We were just trying to do the right thing. Sorry.
Leonard: You don't still have them do you?
Arbiter: No. I deleted them as soon as they served our need. I whole-heartedly disapprove of hacks being used in a competitive environment and the last thing I want is to see the network fall victim to them. The fact that we got a hold of them before might give us an edge in finding these new ones. Please, let us help. Seriously, I've got nothing else going on. I'll just be sitting on my ass otherwise.
Leonard: If I allow this, you CAN'T make me regret it. I'm serious.
Arbiter: Understood.
Leonard: Fine. You'll be able to play within the private networks with moderator status. The main network though is still off-limits.
Arbiter:: Fair enough.
Leonard:: You manage to find those hacks and we'll see about changing that.
Arbiter: Just one more thing. Can you bump Chief up to level zero? Things got hairy the last time, and unless Chief can at least apply a ban he won't have much of a fighting chance. Should we encounter any hackers, they'll have no reason to pay him any concern.
Leonard: You better watch him, like a hawk.
Arbiter: I will.
Leonard: I'll make the changes, don't let me down.
Arbiter: We won't.

Arbiter walks away.

Scene 2: Breakpoint[]

On the map Reflection, two spartans, one red and the other grey, are seen together, appearing to be guarding a doorway. A brown spartan being followed by a Red Elite are seen approaching them.

Hacker Grunt (Red):: Is there a reason you're here bro?
Xbox-Live Player #1:: Yeah, business. I'm interested in the product that I heard you're offering.
Hacker Grunt (Red):: Heard where?
Xbox-Live Player #1:: Around.
Hacker Grunt (Red):: You a mod?
Xbox-Live Player #1:: No.
Hacker Grunt (Red):: Stay put.

The Red Grunt goes to confront the Grey Grunt, the two get face-to-face, appearing to be discussing something in private. After a few seconds the Red Grunt returns to the Brown Spartan.

Xbox-Live Player #1:: We good?
Hacker Grunt (Red):: Oh yeah, we're good. Follow me.

The Brown Spartan follows after the Red Grunt while the Elite Grunt and Grey Grunt follow after closely behind. The Grunts take the player to another Elite in Silver to a bigger room.

Xbox-Live Player #1:: Alright, how do we do this?
Hacker Leader: Do what?!
Xbox-Live Player #1:: Make an exchange, that's why I'm here. Didn't think I needed to point that out to you, no offense.
Hacker Leader:: We won't be making any exchange.
Xbox-Live Player #1:: I don't understand...
Hacker Leader:: Then allow me to clear things up for you. We all know you're lying through your fucking teeth, and we don't deal with liers. Simple as that.
Xbox-Live Player #1:: What the hell are you talking about?
Hacker Leader:: You're a TOSERS Moderator! And the minute you get your hands on our files, the people you work for will have it dissected and the game consequently patched, rendering them useless.
Xbox-Live Player #1:: Look, I dunno who told you that, but you guys have this all wrong!
Hacker Leader:: You're the one who had it all wrong when the thought warmed into your dense fucking head that you could deceive us! It'll go nicely with a bullet. Waste this mother fucker!

The Elite Grunt loads his gun and points it at the Brown Spartan's head.

Xbox-Live Player #1:: Wait, wait! Okay! Your right! I'm a mod, you got me! I'm sorry for deceiving you.
Hacker Leader:: You mean you're sorry you tried.
Xbox-Live Player #1:: Yes, I'm sorry I tried. I thought I had a shot but you're obviously a lot smarter than I predicted. If you let me walk out of here, I won't say a word to anybody about what you're doing here.
Hacker Leader:: Is that right?
Xbox-Live Player #1:: Yes!
Hacker Leader:: Somehow I doubt that.
Xbox-Live Player #1:: I promise you, I won't, hand to god! Please, I don't want my console bricked! How about it, we got a deal?
Hacker Leader:: Oh yeah, we've got a deal.
Xbox-Live Player #1:: Thank you.
Hacker Leader:: But you're sure as shit not walking out of here, sorry. The deal is we cap you and you still don't breath a fucking word to anyone about what we're doing. Not unless you want me and my team concentrating our efforts on making your life a living hell: Max out your line of credit, drain your bank balance, and spend it all on dildos, then send them all straight to your doorstep, hack all your social networking shit, post all your info publicly on the net claiming you abuse cats, and whatever other fucked up shit we can think of. How does that sound? However, feel free to pass down one thing to your fellow TOSERS: You can tell them not to send anymore pawns our way, not unless they each want nearly $300 paperweights.
Xbox-Live Player #1:: PLEASE DON--!

The Elite grunt fires his magnum at the player and fragbans him on the spot.

Scene 3: Jon's Living Room[]

Chief is seen frantically typing "i want to look at tittiessssss" on Jon's keyboard. Arbiter is seen staring out the window of Jon's apartment. A rumble of thunder is heard outside.

Arbiter: Jeez... It was alright outside this morning. Looks like it's gonna be ugly as sin pretty soon.
Chief: u m33n liek ur mom? / ROFL / h00rae 4 paper bags!1
Arbiter: Is that file done yet?
Chief: no
Arbiter: (turns to face Chief) Weird... Should be by now. It's a software setup, not that big. What's the ETA?
Chief: (turns to face Arbiter) twenty six yrs
Arbiter: What the fudge?
Chief: mite wana sit down lol

Arbiter hops off the windowsil, going to join Chief. They are then seen on Jon's bed.

Arbiter: What's hogging the bandwidth? Are you downloading anything else?
Chief: WATS A BANDWIDTHS?
Arbiter: ... 'Internets'. (hops off the bed)
Chief: OOH / OK / INNERNETS / y dusnt u just sed so? / well just a cuple things / cuple thingy wingies

Arbiter climbs up Jon's desk and joins Chief.

Arbiter: 'A couple thingy wingies'. Torrents?
Chief: yeh

Arbiter looks at what Chief is downloading.

Arbiter: For fuck's sake, Chief. What the hell is all this? 'Fetish Frenzy'? 'Mega MILF Mania'? 'Squirt Fest '11'? Tell me that involves Super Soakers.
Chief: um / yes / :3 (Lion face)
Arbiter: Eight hundred gigs?! You're not fucking serious, are you?
Chief: im so >:I (Serious face)
Arbiter: You've actually beaten your already ridiculous record with that. Gather the world's astrophysicists, you've just discovered a whole new universe of sad.
Chief: u no me arbitur, i <3 evry chalenge eggsept chips chalenge
Arbiter: What are you dribbling about? You hate a challenge. A challenge implies putting extra effort into overcoming your obstacle. That doesn't really scream 'you'. Rather it's you that would scream, and probably rage quit. Besides that, everyone loves Chip's Challenge.
Chief: moar overated hipster bullshit / WHERS THE GUNS? / WHERS THE HELTH REGENS? / WHERS TEH BL00DEH SCH33NZ? / it dusnt evin quantify as a fucking video gaem / WHERE IS THEY ARBITUR? / WHERE IS THEY
Arbiter: There isn't even room left over for the fucking operating system.
Chief: man im gona b so fucking buff in a cuple days / beter reserved ur tikkits lol
Arbiter: Spare me the image, I'm begging you.

Arbiter then starts cancelling Chief porn downloads.

Master Chief: HAY / stop canciling mai sexay pr0n!!1

Chief shoves Arbiter away from the computer.

Chief: FUCK OFF
Arbiter: This is your new way of passing time to replace Halo, is it? Beating off thirty hours a day.
Chief: WELL WTF ELSE IS THER 2 DO
Arbiter: You might be pleased to know that I had another chat with the basic administrator who's letting us stay on as moderators.
Chief: ON HALOS?
Arbiter: Yes.
Chief: OMG R U FUCKING SRSLY?
Arbiter: I'm seriously.
Chief: (hopping up and down excitedly) FUCK YES / ALRITE!11eleven+shift!1one!!1 / FREEZE / TOSERS / GET DOWN ON TEH FUCKING GROUND / lololololololol
Arbiter: No, no more of that shit. That was the condition. You're gonna play your role straight and by-the-book this time, are we clear?
Chief: screw that / im gona --
Arbiter: You're not hearing me Chief.

Arbiter shoves Chief. He stops hopping as Arbiter gets in his face.

Arbiter: This isn't a fucking negotiation, I'm telling you. You're gonna behave this time. Otherwise I'll just unplug the Xbox. I don't give a shit anymore.
Chief: BUT ARBITUR
Arbiter: No 'but's.
Chief: LOL 'BUTTS'
Arbiter: Chief.
Chief: god dammit fien we will does it ur way this tiems arbitur / this tiems.
Arbiter: Thank you. But should mention, we won't be playing on the main network.
Chief: WUT?
Arbiter: We'll be playing system link on virtual private networks. Tunneling.
Chief: TUNELING? / wat tunels? / u m33n liek teh tuebs teh innernets goes thru?
Arbiter: Metaphorically speaking, the term refers to 'tricking' your console into 'thinking' it's on a LAN when it's actually reaching out to players across the net. That's what the software I'm downloading is for. Which has now finally had the chance to finish.
Chief: thinking?/
Arbiter: Yeah. You know. That thing you don't do.
Chief: kk start mai torrents up agen nao plskthx
Arbiter: Fuck that.
Chief: FUCK YOU
Arbiter: Somewhere on these lightly monitored networks is where we'll find the hacks being used by that asshole clan. It's our job to track them down. Once we do, we might even get our ban lifted. How does that sound? Sound good?
Chief: :D (happy face)
Arbiter: Thought you'd like that.
Chief: ALRITE LETS DOES THIS SHIT
Arbiter: I'll set up the software. You turn the TV on and get the game ready.
Chief: K / hi fucking fiev

Arbiter and Master Chief high-five and Chief leaves to setup the game.

Chief: bitchin
Arbiter: I just hope all the rumors aren't true and it isn't filled with a millon fucking kids.
Chief: u m33n liek teh main netwerks?
Arbiter: ... Yeah.
Chief: LOL

Scene 4: Forge World[]

On a Forge World map, there are several players seen conversing with one another, at least five spartans and two elites. One of them is the Elite Hacker Grunt from before. Many of the spartans talking sound very young.

Xbox-Live Player #2: Suck my dick motherfucker and massage my balls while you're at it bitch.
Xbox-Live Player #3: Your balls gotta drop first before I can massage them dipshit. Why don't you come back and talk to me when they do?
Xbox-Live Player #2: So you're saying you would massage my balls? Homo.

A Falcon is seen being piloted by Master Chief while Arbiter is seen riding inside it. The Falcon crashes into a tree during mid-flight but resumes heading to join the other players. Upon reaching the land where they are at, Chief brings the Falcon in at a sudden drop as he and Arbiter escape it.

Arbiter: Smooth.
Chief: well how r u suposed 2 propellerly land this piece of shit?
Arbiter: 'Properly'. As in 'not how you talk'.
Xbox-Live Player #2: What's the matter, am I taking your time away from sucking your Dad's dick? Sorry about that.
Xbox-Live Player #3: Your Mom's tits actually.
Xbox-Live Player #2: Wow, good one kid.
Xbox-Live Player #3: That's two things I'm better at then you: insults and Halo.
Xbox-Live Player #2: You're not better at me than Halo you fucking retard!

One of the Xbox-Live Player not arguing is seen jumping at an extremely high height as a result of the hacks he possesses.

Xbox-Live Player #3: I can whoop your ass you little bitch, deal with it.
Xbox-Live Player #2: You have no idea who the fuck you're talking to okay? And even if you could beat me at Halo, I'd kick your fucking ass in real-life anyway you fucking faggot bitch.
Arbiter: Five hours of listening to shit like this from server to server. I'm gonna go bonkers if we don't dig up a lead pretty soon.

Arbiter and Chief walk up to the Spartan with the high jump height.

Xbox-Live Player #3: Dude, I can take you down in like a second.
Xbox-Live Player #2: Okay then, give me your address.
Xbox-Live Player #3: What, you gonna come to my house and kick my ass? Is that what's gonna happen?
Xbox-Live Player #2: That's what's gonna happen bitch, you fucking done it now. I'd sleep with one eye open if I were you.
Arbiter: Remember what I said.
Chief: yeh yeh b a shuttle
Arbiter: 'Subtle'. God damn...

Arbiter and Chief reach the Spartan as he is still jumping. He sounds slightly younger than the ones arguing loudly.

Arbiter: Nice hacks, dude.
Xbox-Live Player #4: Nice taste!
Arbiter: Got any other cool ones?
Xbox-Live Player #4: No reloads, shoot through walls, turn shotgun pellets into individual Plasma Grenades, couple of others.
Arbiter: Sweet.
Chief: HAY U GAIZ HERD ABOUT THOES L337 HAX THAT CAN BAN PPLS AND STOLED THEY'RE ACCOUNTS WE WANT THOES 1S WERE CAN WE GET THOES 1S DO U GAIZ NO? WE ISNT MODS OR N E THING
Xbox-Live Player #4: Yeah I know about them. I have no idea of where to get them but you guys are lucky. I know that red guy over there does.

Arbiter turns and sees the two Elites arguing as well.

Xbox-Live Player #5: Bring it on douchebag, I'll be waiting for your ass. I'll be waiting with my fucking nine and it will pop your fucking skull and fuck the bulletholes.
Hacker Grunt: I'd fucking sneak up on you and slit your throat before you could fucking scream you fucking bitch. And then I'd kill you whole fucking family and kill and rape your dog then burn your fucking house down.
Arbiter: Thanks.

Arbiter and Chief leave the player and go to talk to the Elite Grunt.

Xbox-Live Player #5: Fact is I'd beat your ass before you can do any of this bullshit, but you not gonna do shit anyway you fucking pussy. You're just gonna sit on your ass like everybody else.
Arbiter: Thank fuck for that. Finally, we're on to something.
Hacker Grunt: Not me motherfucker, I'm your worst fucking nightmare.
Xbox-Live Player #5: You'll be my worst fucking nightmare, huh?
Hacker Grunt: Yeah, I'll kill and rape your grandma and grandpa then chop them up into little pieces and eat them, then I'd sneak into your room while you're sleeping and shit in your mouth, then you'll be full of shit in more ways than one.
Arbiter: Are you listening to this shit? Fuck me.
Master Chief: yeh, wats teh problims?
Hacker Grunt: But I guess you've had your grandpa in your mouth a million times before, and your ass.
Xbox-Live Player #5: No I'm too busy fucking your mom--
Arbiter: Bless the little children.
Xbox-Live Player #5: --I'm actually your dad--
Arbiter: The leaders of tomorrow.
Xbox-Live Player #5: Brush your teeth and get ready for bed.
Hacker Grunt: Yeah I'll get ready for bed if your mom's in it. But it's her that should really brush her teeth since she's been smoking my pole all day.
Chief: um helo exkuese me?

The Hacker Grunt turns and looks at Chief and Arbiter.

Arbiter: Maybe you can help us out.

Scene 5: Reflection (Hacker server)[]

Arbiter, Chief, and the Elite Hacker Grunt are seen approaching the entrance to Hacker server. They are confronted by the Red Hacker Grunt.

Chief: O HAI
Hacker Grunt (Red): What the fuck?!
Hacker Grunt (Elite): (In a disguised voice) They said they need it to talk.
Hacker Grunt (Red): You guys mods?
Chief: NOPE NO WAI DUED R U KIDING ID EAT MAI OWN DICK B4 I HAD N E THINGS 2 DO W/ THOESE FUDGEPACKIRS LOLOLOL NO BUT SRSLY WE ARNT IM FUCKING SRS K? / K WHERS UR HAX / 1337 SEXXAY HAXXX
Arbiter: Do we sound like mods to you?

Arbiter and Chief enter the same room that Xbox-Live Player #1 entered. They are both confronted by the Hacker Leader while the Grunts surround them. Chief is running around looking at everything in the room.

Chief: HAY BRAH / R TH33SE TEH HAX BRAH? / DOES TH33SE GUNZ HAS TEH 1337 HAX BRAH?
Arbiter: Just to clarify... We shoot somebody with your software, their console's perma-banned and we get their payment info and shit, yeah? And IDs are hidden?
Hacker Leader: Yes.
Arbiter: So how do we get the wheels rolling here? What's your price?
Hacker Leader: 2,000,000.
Arbiter: What...

While Arbiter is talking, the Elite Hacker is seen walking away

Arbiter: ... Dollars?
Hacker Leader: No, credits. I still don't have inclimate weather, but before anything else happens here we're doing a quick verification.
Chief: WATS THAT LOL?
Arbiter: ... Verification?
Hacker Leader: We're checking your tags against the list of known mods working undercover in the private networks. We'll know in a second whether or not this exchange is a go.

Chief watches as the Elite Hacker goes to talk to a White Hacker Grunt.

Arbiter: Have you had mods come in here before?
Hacker Leader: Yeah.
Arbiter: What do you do typically when you sniff them out?
Hacker Leader: Give them an unhealthy dose of lead and brick their console from any connections.
Arbiter: Right...
Chief: OMG THATS SO FUNNEH

Arbiter and Chief look at each other in concern. The Elite Hacker Grunt returns and speaks privately with the Hacker Leader. The Leader nods and looks back at Arbiter and Chief.

Hacker Leader: Nah, we're good. You know it's refreshing. Nearly fucking all of them have been moderators so far.
Arbiter: Sons of bitches.
Chief: FUCKING ASSHOELS
Arbiter: ... We may have a problem, though. We don't exactly have two million credits on us at the moment.
Hacker Leader: We that's the fucking price. Take it or leave it.
Arbiter: Could we maybe give you what we have now and pay the rest off in smaller portions on a weekly basis or something?
Hacker Leader: How much do you have?
Arbiter: ... Seventeen thousand.
Hacker Leader: For fuck's sake.
Arbiter: We'll pay what's left to you as fast as we can. We just --
Adam: Hey douchebags! What's up?

Arbiter turns quickly and notices Adam and Clyde entering the same room as them.

Adam: Dope! You actually got a little transaction going here?

Adam and Clyde turn and notice Arbiter and Chief in the room.

Adam: Son of a bitch!

Credits roll. The end.