| "Well Hung" | "Day One Cookies" → |
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Scene 1: Jon's Bathroom
Arbiter is searching in the bathroom for Jon's PlayStation Portable, or Chief.
- Arbiter: Chief? You in here? Have you seen Jon's PSP lying around anywhere? The white PSP Go.
- Master Chief: no arbitur, i hasnt s33n jons gaystation go / sry, "gaystation gay"
Then Arbiter found Chief hanging on top of the metal pole in Jon's shower, holding a noose made out of Greg's spider webs.
- Master Chief: if i did i w00d has snapped that shit liek a fucking kitkat / zune handled is best handeld / PRAISE MS
- Arbiter: How did you get up there?
- Master Chief: taek a wild guest.
- Arbiter: Where? To the movies?
- Master Chief: fucking faggot greg shotting webs all ovar the goddamn apartment / its fucking disgusting / thats liek if i just runned around b33ting off and nutting all ovar the plaece all fucking day
- Arbiter: But that's exactly what you do.
- Master Chief: o yea. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
- Arbiter: Please fall. What is it exactly that you're doing, anyway?
- Master Chief: jon is thirty sevin y33rs old and still films himself playeing w/ dolls, arbitur. in just saeving him sum tiems, thats all / just saeving him a bits of tiemes.
- Arbiter: He's twenty-four in May.
- Master Chief: so? its still fucking pathetick ROFL / does he evin gots a grillfriend?
- Arbiter: Yes because you're rolling in the bitches, aren't you?
- Master Chief: hell yeah mother fucker / i pound the pu$$y so gud / /flex >:D
- Arbiter: I don't think Jon's gonna be able to fit his head through that loop.
- Master Chief: its not foar his neck its foar his balls / lmao arbitur ur so silly / silly billy
- Arbiter: Lovely image. But either way, that's hardly gonna suspend him -- he's just gonna smash his head off of the bath.
- Master Chief: arbitur shut up ull jinx it lol / u f33l liek playing sum halos, bitch?/
- Arbiter: I would if the Reach disc hadn't just stopped reading.
- Master Chief: WHAT THE FUCK / GODDAMMIT
When Chief started losing balance after what he heard about the Reach disc, then had a nasty fall in the bathtub.
- Master Chief: OW
- Arbiter: Trolled.
- Master Chief: :'(
End credits.